Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Bowl Overload (Maybe...) Part 2

 Greetings once again. When we last left off, Covid was raging again and winter had yet to arrive, but despite it all, no college bowl games were cancelled. In the week since, my mental health took a sliight nosedive, Joe Manchin gave everyone a lump of coal in our stockings, the Bucs laid an egg against the Aints, and the world was seemingly going to hell in a handbag (which given the prior five years, shouldn't be a surprise). But, my mental health rallied a bit (the Lightning had a little something to do with it) and I am ready to write again. Today, I continue with my "preview" of all the college bowl games, picking up where I left off last week.

Camellia Bowl: Georgia State vs. Ball State. Ten years ago, this commuter school from Atlanta didn't even have a football program at the FBS level, and their entire program has only existed since 2010. Ball State's program has been around since I was in diapers. This is another bowl game to fill out ESPN programming.

Quick Lane Bowl: Western Michigan vs. Nevada. Literally have no clue why there's a bowl game in Detroit. I know years ago they had the Cherry Bowl, but it only lasted two years, and hardly anyone remembers it. The Oil Change Bowl (since Quick Lane is Ford Cars' Maintenance branch) has been around for some time, if you include its incarnation as the Little Caesar's Bowl. Come to think of it, I don't remember the Pizza, Pizza! Bowl either.

Military Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boston College. Honestly, this game should host the winner of the Commander in Chief Trophy by default, but as Daft Punk said, television rules the nation.

Birmingham Bowl: Houston vs. Auburn. The only thing I'll say about this game is that Houston head coach Dana Holgerson has the worst hair in the game in my opinion, and it isn't even close.

First Responder Bowl: Louisville vs. Air Force. This is sponsored by Servpro, but unlike their company's slogan, this game (barring COVID) will happen. I should point out that this is the first bowl game this season to feature an ACC team. That conference went 0-for-6 last bowl season, a feat only matched by lowly Conference USA; embarrassing. 

Liberty Bowl: Texas Tech vs. Mississippi State. Finally, a traditional bowl game. While Texas Tech's announcers aren't griping about Big XII officiating, they're coming to grips with the fact that they're facing Mike Leach, the former coach of the Red Raiders.

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Holiday Bowl: NC State vs. UCLA. Another traditional bowl game. San Diego used to have TWO bowl games; this and the Poinsettia Bowl. Now the Poinsettia Bowl doesn't exist, nor does the stadium that had always hosted this game. So, until San Diego State University finishes their new stadium next door to the old Murph, Petco Park is hosting this venue. Since it's Festivus today, I thought I'd air a grievance of my own: football isn't meant to be played in a baseball park. Now you're probably thinking of the classic George Carlin comedy routine, baseball vs. football. you're welcome.











Guaranteed Rate Bowl: West Virginia vs. Minnesota. While I'm at it, allow me to rant about another thing. Dontcha just hate it when you try to reach out to someone you've had correspondence with, or worse yet, someone who WANTS to talk, and they flat out blow you off? To me, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and yes...







By, the way, now that Dana Holgerson (see Birmingham Bowl above) is gone, West Virginia has become a lot more likeable, even if a certain Senator is not. 

Fenway Bowl: Virginia at SMU. A new bowl game for ESPN to fill programming with. And yes, it's being played at Fenway Paaahk. "Hey, waah don't we eat some chaddah annd beet up some rich kids. Ahhh!" Did you know in the days of the old AFL, the New England Patriots played their home games at Fenway?

Pinstripe Bowl: Maryland vs. Virginia Tech. Why did Fenway get a bowl game? Because Yankee Stadium already has one, and the pettiest of rivalries only has to get pettier, even during a baseball lockout. Speaking of petty, is there anything more petty in college football than Virginia Tech's stupid bowl streak, which I think is now at 25 years. Makes me want to root for the former ACC school to blow the doors off them.

Cheez-It Bowl: Iowa State vs. Clemson. My sisters eat Cheez-Its all the time. Which reminds me of another rant I have; is there anything worse than having a sister who thinks you're her son and thins that you're a teenage boy instead of a grown man who may or may not be spiraling into a mid-life crisis? Today for lunch, I had a bowl of chicken noodle soup that had some pieces of celery and carrots. Eldest sister didn't think it was good enough and snatched the bowl away so she could add more chicken and get this, green beans to my dish, then nuked it for a minute. My lunch was well enough as it was, there was no need to ruin it. Then she says, "You need the nourishment," and air-kisses me. Yuck.

Alamo Bowl: Oregon vs. Oklahoma. Finally, a matchup of two ranked teams. Oregon was primed for a spot in the CFP, then they went Pac-12 and folded down the stretch. Oklahoma had a roller-coaster season that saw them make comeback vs. Texas, and nearly flub up against frigging Kansas before ultimately falling to Baylor 😖 and Oklahoma State. I happen to know someone in Oklahoma who could be the subject of one my earlier rants, but I digress...

Duke's Mayo Bowl: North Carolina vs. South Carolina. You know this should be a yearly rivalry, and in days of yore, it was. But South Carolina left the ACC around the time I was born, and the fairer Carolina became a stalwart of the conference. Yes, I'm biased. Instead of Bank of America Stadium, why don't they play in the nearby Carowinds amusement park? Just make a gridiron with the midfield line being the actual NC/SC border? Regardless, it should be a fun atmosphere in Charlotte.

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