2026 World Cup Preview, I Guess

 Hello everyone, except for Charlie Miranda, James Dolan, and of course, the woman I was talking to. Charlie doesn't want a new park for the Rays, Dolan for being a terrible owner even though the team he owns (in spite of him) are in the NBA Finals, and the last one I kinda alluded to in my last entry. Speaking of which, I haven't found a proper GIF to simulate what happened, but I did find this picture on Google:

And by the way, she is now blocked on EVERY platform she is on except one so I could tag her in a post that pretty much sums up what she did, and she promptly blocked me back. So, either she still feels for me, or she's crazy. Toxic? Definitely (who conveniently forgets that her children are going to be home from school the day we were supposed to have lunch?). She may have driven by my house this week because there was a random soda can that had landed from a vehicle I presume in the front yard of where I live, but since it was a Sprite can, I doubt it was her. Heck, I've never ever seen her drink soda period. Anyway, cleaned that mess up when I took out the recycling bin this morning.

By the way, do not go to Capone's. There are plenty of other pool halls to go to around here.

Well now that that's out of the way, I guess I should write about the soccer tournament that will be taking place over the next month. I can't say I'm excited for this edition, like 2022 and 2018 before then. One, Fox is carrying it, so we're going to get all sorts of right-wing propaganda being that this is the 250th birthday of our Nation, and unfortunately our president is a self-aggrandizing petulant toddler who is in love with Fox. Both tournament selections as then well as the one this year was surrounded in controversy with allegations of bribery, and I think this one was as well. By the way, you ever notice how the FIFA head (Giavanni Infantino) somewhat resembles Lex Luthor?

It was actually Infantino's predecessor, Sepp (overactive) Blatter, who was behind the corruption of the 2018 and 2022 selections, which ultimately got him impeached and removed. Hmmm, makes me think of what may happen in 2027...but I digress. 

This year's tournament has a record 48 entries, which if you ask me is too many; it was fine at 32. Among those are Curacao, which is a Dutch-controlled island with about 150,000 in population. Haiti, which has been irrelevant other than governmental overthrows (one of which my ship took part in the fall of 1994) and tragedies, and honestly, I don't think they've recovered from that earthquake 16 years ago. Uzbekistan, which took advantage of an expanded field, and whose claim to fame is the birthplace to Milana Vayntrub, best known as Lily from the AT&T commercials back in the day. 

There are the other usual suspects, the defending champions Argentina, France, England, Brazil, Netherlands, Germany. But no Italy. Also in the field, Iran which is a curious dichotomy considering the US is currently at war (or are we?) with them. And of course, the hosts, Mexico, Canada, and the United States. Happy Birthday America, here's a sports tournament created (allegedly) by your colonial parent for your birthday, that and a lame UFC fight that may or not take place.

Usually, the way the tournament works is that the teams are divided into groups of four and the top two from each group advance to the knockout stage. It was rather simple when there were 32 teams, but since there is now 48, it's now complicated, much like any romantic endeavor I'm in. You would expect that the top two from each group would advance to the knockout stage, but then you would have to give the top eight group winners (via goals scored, goal difference, FIFA rating, etc.) a first round bye and have the other four group winners play the four lowest rated second place teams, leaving the remaining second place teams compete for a spot in the round of 16. But FIFA didn't do that. Instead, the eight highest ranked third place teams advance to a round of 32, then go from there.

Anyway, here how the groups shape up:

A) Mexico, South Africa, South Korea, Czechia
B) Canada, Bosnia, Qatar, Switzerland
C) Brazil, Morocco, Haiti, Scotland
D) USA, Paraguay, Australia, Turkey
E) Germany, Curacao, Cote d'Ivoire, Ecuador
F) Netherlands, Japan, Sweden, Tunisia
G) Belgium, Egypt, Iran, New Zealand
H) Spain, Cape Verde, Saudi Arabia, Uruguay
I) France, Senegal, Iraq, Norway
J) Argentina, Algeria, Austria, Jordan
K) Portugal, DR Congo, Uzbekistan, Colombia
L) England, Croatia, Ghana, Panama

Let's take a look at what has transpired the past 48 hours before the opening kick in Mexico City shall we?

• Swiss footballer Embolo's visa was put under review and he was only able to join his team days later.

• Iraqi national team player Aymen Hussein was held for questioning for nearly 7 hours upon entering the United States.

• The Iranian national team spent days dealing with visa procedures at the U.S. Consulate in Türkiye. The U.S. only allowed them entry on match days. Fifteen members of the delegation were denied visas.

• Omar Abdulkadir Artan, named CAF's Best African Referee of 2025, was denied a visa. Despite travelling to the U.S. with a diplomatic passport, he was refused entry and sent back. FIFA announced that he will not be able to officiate at the tournament.

• The South African national team arrived in the United States much later than planned because part of the delegation was not granted visas.

• Members of the Senegal national team staff were forced to remove their shoes and subjected to lengthy searches, sparking accusations of racism.

• The Uzbekistan national team was searched with bomb-sniffing dogs and the footage went viral in international media.

• Some Scottish supporters, despite being eligible to enter the U.S. visa-free under the ESTA programme, had their travel authorisations revoked just days before departure.

• Many supporters who had already bought tickets and booked accommodation had their visa applications rejected, resulting in financial losses.

Taken from The Other 98% on Facebook. Welcome to the sh*t show folks. So, who wins? Heck at the rate things are going from the above text, I'll say the USA. Hell, our country is being run like a bad episode of "Monday Night Raw" right now. I'm sure there will be plenty of shenanigans for that to happen.

Seriously though, I think it will be Portugal and Netherlands meeting in the final with the Orange Army finally lifting the first World Cup. Enjoy the soccer, if you dare.

BonyScribe

Screw It, I'm Writing.

 Good evening everyone, except you Samantha. I'm a little drunk this Friday night, so I have nothing else better to do than to rant on here for a little bit. So, what should we talk about? Well, for starters, the OTHER team I root for in the NHL, (the Carolina Hurricanes) have finally reached the Stanley Cup Final after two decades after beating the Montreal Canadiens in five games. They now will face the Vegas Golden Showers Knights starting June 2 on ABC with Sean O'Mac (McDonough) and Chicken Parm (Ray Ferraro) on the call. 

You might wonder what happened to make me say at the open "except you Samantha." Well long story short, we are no longer talking. Won't go into detail, but let's just say what happened was the equivalent of what happened at Cape Canaveral Thursday night. Don't have a GIF handy but it looked something like this:

...and boom goes the dynamite.

Now normally I wouldn't play the conspiracy theory card, but I will on this occasion. We know that Jeff Bezos and Squealon Muskrat are the embodiments of Lex Luthor. Bezos the comic book version and Musk the "New Adventures of Superman" version, and both are in a glorified urinating contest to see who can get to the moon and beyond first. So, wouldn't it be something if it turns out that last night's explosion was an act of sabotage? 

Side note, I despise Alex Jones even going back to when he was a "contributor" on Coast to Coast AM overnights over a decade ago. 

Speaking of the explosion, I have to call out WESH out of Orlando. They sent a helicopter to the Cape this morning to get an ariel view of the damage caused from it (one of the lightning towers was destroyed) to the launch pad. They spent a good five minutes trying to find where LC 36 was. You're a TV station in a top 15 media market, you should know where the complex is beforehand. It's called doing research. Instead, we got views of LC 39, the Vehicle Assembly Building, and everything else EXCEPT the Launch pad in question. Way to be on the ball, WESH...

I cannot wait for Monday to be honest. I will be out and about probably drinking my sorrows, which aren't really sorrows, away. And no, I don't need by former favorite bartender to keep me happy, I can keep myself happy. I just want some good people to share it with. Maybe it was the fact that she was a redhead, but I'm attracted to redheads. Damnit, I can't win either way. Oh well...

I think later this weekend or next week, I'll have another flashback Top 40 chart. I don't really know which one yet though; I had thought about doing on for May 19 and incorporating it with the song "Hey 19" by Steely Dan from years ago, but I understand the mayor of Knox County, TN would have been triggered by said post, so I held off.

Well that's all I have for right now. I guess I'll play some games on my computer or my phone until I fall asleep. Until next time, miscreants.

BS

What in the Tar Heel Is Going On??

 Good evening, miscreants. Over the past couple of nights, those of us who watch the Tampa Bay Rays have noticed something peculiar. Tarps off. What is it exactly? Well without researching this at first, it appears to be a bunch of young men (and some females) taking off their tops and waving it around like a towel. Like this:

Of course, this is nothing new. It started thanks to Petey Pablo all the way back in 2001 with his rap hit "Raise Up," where he states, "take your shirt off, twist it 'round yo' hand, spin it like a helicopter." It's a North Carolina anthem (he's from there), and in 2018 the Carolina Hurricanes used it as their goal song, where I assume the above GIF comes from.

Fast forward to last autumn, and some students at Oklahoma State University during a football game started doing the same thing, the next thing you know, everyone is doing it. Until it died down when the college football season ended.

Then we come to last weekend in St. Louis, when a bunch of club baseball players from Stephen A. Austin University in Texas who were attending a game there did it, and the result was a comeback victory for the Redbirds over Kansas City. Next thing you know, EVERYONE is doing it.

Will it last? Doubt it. But could we calm down in saying that the Cardinals started this trend? It's actually been happening for a generation now. Hell, soccer fans might remember Sergio Aguero's iconic goal in 2012 for Manchester City when he basically did the same thing:

AguerOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo!!!

Still the greatest moment I've seen in a soccer match anywhere and probably in my top ten of iconic sports moments ever. On a side note, congrats to Arsenal on winning the English Premier League this season, beating out...Manchester City. But I digress.

The fact to the matter is that Petey Pablo actually started this trend a generation ago, so this ex-Tar Heel would like to say, put some respect on the name.

Until next time

BonyScribe

A Peculiar Flashback (May 10, 2010)

 Good late evening/early morning, everyone, except for a certain someone. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! I started writing this entry as May 5 became May 6, but my depression (thanks to said liar) reared its ugly head again, and I put it off until 2am on Mother's Day. As Hayley Williams once pondered, "ain't it fun?"

Today, I thought I would produce one of my flashbacks but to a particular day in my history that only a select few know about. What is that day? Most of you will never know. With that said, these were the Top 40 songs according to ClearChannel Mediabase 24/7 for the week ending May 7, 2010. And of course, I'll give my thoughts on various other things as we go along.

40. Everybody In Love by JLS. Great, a song about love to kick us off. Who created this chart, Delilah? Pardon me while I barf.

39. Heart Heart Heartbreak by Boys Like Girls. Alright, that's more like it. So why am I upset this past week? Well remember around this time LAST year things were going haywire with a love interest as someone else forcing himself into the picture. Same person wound up with her and her mom on Father's Day weekend enjoying themselves, which set me off because I have NEVER ONCE been able to celebrate Father's Day since my daughter was born in 1999 not even as much as received a Father's Day card. As someone who has totally missed out on certain life events (whether it was my own fault or not), it triggered me in a bad way. 

38. Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner. Yeah Mike, that's what I'm thinking...

37. We'll Be A Dream by We The Kings. I think their greatest claim to fame was a song they penned for the 2008 AL Championship Tampa Bay Rays. WTK is from Sarasota IIRC.

36. Baby by Justin Bieber

35. Winner by Jaime Foxx f/Justin Timberlake

34. Somebody To Love by Justin Bieber. All this Justin Bieber talk makes wanna 1) puke and 2) talk about hockey, most notably the shortcomings of the Tampa Bay Lightning...again.

33. Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer. Rather fitting song for what's happening to me currently. Anyway, the Bolts were knocked out in the first round of the playoffs for the FOURTH consecutive year. And I have a few thoughts on that...

32. This Afternoon by Nickelback. Interestingly enough, Nickelback plays a part (in my opinion) as to why the Bolts fell apart again. The Lightning for some unknown reason utilized their hit "Burn It To The Ground" as their goal song this season.

31. If We Meet Again by Timbaland. I think that the use of Nickelback as Tampa's goal song was bad juju. Yes, they had an incredible run leading up to the Olympics, but afterwards the team just wasn't the same.

30. Impossible by Shontelle. They never really got back to form and wound up finishing second in the division to Buffalo (barf, but not as bad as losing the division to the Broward County Pussycats, who thankfully missed the playoffs).

29. Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble. Either way, losing in the first round for the fourth straight year is infuriating. I want to think that there's two hidden factors not related to the players or the game itself that contribute to that.

28. Rock That Body by The Blackeyed Peas. Since the Bolts last reached the Stanley Cup Final, one former friend of mine wound up getting engaged to a Pussycat fan. In my opinion, that's almost the ultimate sin, kind of like sleeping with the enemy. Anyway, afterwards, the Pussycats wound up going to three straight Finals, winning the last two Cups.

27. Halfway Gone by Lifehouse. Speaking of which, another Lightning superfan wound up getting hitched to some guy from Colorado. The Lightning lost to Colorado in the '22 Final. Could these two cases be related? Who knows...

26. I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) by Kevin Rudolf. Oh, and one more thing about the Lightning, as I may have alluded to in a prior entry. Paul Porter, please retire. Your cheerleading act has more than run its course.

25. Billionaire by Travie McCoy f/Bruno Mars. As I recall, this song was supposed to be a diss track to Katy Perry, who dated Travie before she kissed a girl and liked it. Incidentally, the song also opened up a Pandora's Box of sorts in helping launch Bruno Mars's career, and on this blog, we don't talk about Bruno. At least we try not to.

24. Bedrock by Young Money f/Lloyd. No, they weren't talking about the Flintstones. Yabba dabba do. There was one chart song from 1994 involved them, but I don't think we want to rehash that now, do we?

23. Bulletproof by LeRoux. One hit wonder, at least here in the US. Not sure about overseas. They were English after all. BTW, Elly Jackson (the lead singer) looks like Rick Astley.

22. Say Aah by Trey Songz. Wow, a doctor on this flashback? Who knew? 

...I know he's not really a doctor...

21. Eenie Meenie by Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber. Unfortunately, their supposed follow-up (Miney Mo) didn't chart, then again, it probably would've been an early victim of cancel culture when one realizes the origins of Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Mo. 

20. Young Forever by Jay-Z f/Mr. Hudson. Their updated version of a 1984 song from Alphaville that has gotten significantly more run now than it did four decades ago. And yes, I strive to be young forever, which is why I regret not being able to raise my daughter, and probably why I want to be a stepdad. So I can relate stories of my youth...

19. Whattaya Want From Me? by Adam Lambert. What I really want is people to pay attention to what I write and what I say whether it be here, or Facebook, or Twitter, or any other social media platform that I am on. I don't like feeling like chopped liver at times...

18. Solo by Iyaz

17. All The Right Moves by OneRepublic. For which it stands, one Nation (under God) with liberty and justice FOR ALL.

16. Not Myself Tonight by Christina Aguilera. You're not alone Christina, I haven't really felt myself this whole month.

15. TikTok by Ke$ha. I still say that Kesha should get a cut of the profits from the TikTok app. A significant one at that. Oracle, work your magic.

14. Imma Be by Blackeyed Peas. Remember the website ytmnd.com? Still around by the way, though not as popular as it once was. Anyway, there are a couple of memes created from that song.

13. Naturally by Selena Gomez & The Scene

12. OMG by Usher f/Will.I.Am

11. Alejandro by Lady Gaga. The only Alejandros that come to the top of my mind are both MLB players. Alejandro Pena whose career spanned the 80's and 90's culminating in a World Series win with the Florida Marlins, and Alejandro Kirk, who currently plays for the Toronto Blue Jays.

10. Carry Out by Timbaland f/Justin Timberlake

  9. Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha. I wish someone felt that way about my love. By the way, thanks for the compliment on my beard ;)

  8. Telephone by Lady Gaga f/Beyonce. One of the last music videos I remember watching, and probably the one of last ones that was seriously hyped by MTV. Once you kill a cow, you have to build a burger, or whatever Gaga said to Bey in the video.

  7. Breakeven by The Script

  6. Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. There have been many times in my life that I have felt this way, especially the past couple of months. Wish the feeling were mutual...

  5. Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz f/Ludacris. Speaking of Ludacris, have you noticed his hit "Roll Out" is being used by Lowe's home improvement centers? A little bold considering Luda hails from Atlanta (my birthplace by the way) and Lowe's primary rival, Home Depot, is based in Atlanta. Lowe's incidentally is based out of Mooresville, NC. A little north of Charlotte.

  4. Hey Soul Sister by Train. I need to listen to that song again...

  3. Nothin' On You by B.O.B. f/Bruno Mars. I like B.O.B.'s hit "Magic" better because the Orlando Magic, or should I say Tragic, would play it after a win as of a couple of seasons ago. Now they play their hokey theme song from 1989. No, I'm not linking you to the song.

  2. In My Head by Jason Derulo. Yes, yes she is.

and the number one song this week sixteen years ago was...

  1. Rude Boy by Rihanna. You know, that may be my whole problem. I'm generally too nice of a guy. However, rude isn't really my style. As The Offspring sang years ago, "your one vice is you're too nice." Nice sure doesn't apply to that motley crew that's running our nation right now.

Anyway, that's this week's flashback. I seriously should consider doing more writing, but my depression (and life) keeps getting in the way. Follow me on my socials for more..,

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Flashback: May 5, 2000

 Hello once again. It's been a while since I published a flashback blog entry, nearly two months to be exact. So, with May coming up tomorrow, I thought it would be a good time to celebrate Justin Timberlake Awareness Day. If you know, you know.

I was going to do a random flashback to when that track in question ("It's Gonna Be Me" by *NSYNC) reached number 1, however in doing so I discovered that, according to the Radio & Records CHR/Pop charts, the song debuted in the Top 40 interestingly enough, on the first weekend of May 2000. So, this flashback is from May 5, 2000. I could do another flashback later this weekend of when "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet reached its top chart destination, but since it's a pre-1980 song, it will require me to do a little more research for it. Anyway, I still might do it, and I should. Just like I should see Samantha tomorrow. Anyway, here were the Top 40 according to Radio & Records from May 5, 2000.

40. I Do by Blaque

39. Riddle by En Vogue

38. Falls Apart (Run Away) by Sugar Ray

37. Try Again by Aaliyah

36. Where You Are by Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey

35. It's Gonna Be Me by *NSync. Like I said, it made its debut on this particular week.

34. Move Your Body by Eiffel 65. The name of this group was created from an online chatroom if I remember correctly, which reminds me of a totally mental movie that I saw part of yesterday. Nerve was the name of it, and to say it was a mindf*** would be an understatement. Plus, Juliette Lewis who is a year older than I am, played a part in this movie. Weird...

33. I Wanna Know by Joe

32. The Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang. Speaking of mental, I still enjoy this song...twenty-six years on.

31. I Think God Can Explain by Splender

30. Forgot About Dre by Dr. Dre & Eminem

29. This Time Around by Hanson

28. I Wanna Be With You by Mandy Moore

27. Back Here by BBMak

26. Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers. This week, two doppelgangers met in Los Angeles as Chad Smith's doppelganger met Will Farrell's doppelganger at the Avalache-Kings playoff game. Of course, they've met each other numerous times over the years.

25. Swear It Again by Westlife

24. Get It On...Tonite by Montell Jordan. This track single-handedly prevented Jordan from becoming a one-hit wonder, at least on the pop chart.

23. Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely by Backstreet Boys. Uh, no thanks.

22. Broadway by Goo Goo Dolls

21. Bent by Matchbox 20. I can confirm from years and years of experience that what happens at #23 leads to feeling #21. Not fun, definitely wouldn't recommend.

20. There You Go by P!nk. And thus, the legend of Alicia Moore began in earnest.

19. Better Off Alone by Alice Deejay

18. Amazed by Lonestar. I loathe this song nowadays, primarily because it is more than likely a staple of Delilah's nauseating radio show that ran on all hours of the day on Tampa's Tragic 94.9 back in the day. Now it's on another Cox Media Group station in that market, and I politely asked my sister to turn the station as we went from Wesley Chapel back home to Hernando County yesterday.

17. Never Let You Go by Third Eye Blind

16. Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C

15. You Sang To Me by Marc Anthony

14. Crash And Burn by Savage Garden

13. I Turn To You by Christina Aguilera

12. Be With You by Enrique Iglesias. Just like I want to be with Samantha right now. Guess I have to wait until Friday evening.

11. Higher by Creed. Don't understand the rationale of the Texas Rangers baseball club using this song during their 2023 World Series run.

10. Thong Song by Sisqo

  9. Breathe by Faith Hill

  8. Oops! I Did It Again by Britney Spears. Yes, she did; she was charged with DUI Thursday in Los Angeles. This coming nearly two months after her arrest there.

  7. Only God Knows Why by Kid Rock. Seriously, only God knows why anyone would listen to him, let alone go to his concerts nowadays.

  6. It Feels So Good by Sonique

  5. Maria Maria by Santana f/The Product G & B

  4. Say My Name by Destiny's Child

  3. Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon

  2. Bye Bye Bye by *NSync

  1. I Try by Macy Gray. And we never heard from her again. Thank goodness.

Well, May has indeed arrived as I am typing this, which doesn't necessarily mean we'll hear the late hockey announcer Rick Jeanerette yell "MAY DAY! MAY DAY! MAY DAY!" nor does it mean that we will necessarily hear that song. But maybe Florida will get some desperately needed rain this weekend. God knows we need it. Anyway, have a great weekend.

BonyScribe

Roasting NHL Playoff Teams/Cities

 Hello everyone. As some of you know, the Stanley Cup Playoffs are underway. So, for this blog entry, I thought I would roast all sixteen teams and cities that are participating in this year's playoffs, which thankfully does NOT include the Florida Panthers.

Let's start with the Eastern Conference. The top seed there is the Carolina Hurricanes. As some of you may or may not know, they are my second team that I root for being my family hails from North Carolina. I didn't have very much beef with that franchise (other than they can't seem to win when it matters in recent years); their fanbase is very loyal and enthusiastic for a metro area (Raleigh/Durham) that is historically known for college basketball (Duke vs. UNC anyone?), however the recent antics of their owner, Tom Dundon (if you are suddenly reminded of the gavel pounding from the "Law & Order," or the Netflix sounder, you aren't alone). Dundon, in addition to owning the Hurricanes, recently purchased the Portland Trail Blazers of the NBA, and he's being a royal cheapskate. Dundon incidentally, was the owner of the now-defunct AAF, which filed for Chapter 11 in 2019 (RIP Orlando Apollos). A $180 million lawsuit was filed against Dundon last year. Sheesh.

Their first-round opponent is the Ottawa Senators. Another team I don't have much beef with. Unfortunately for them, their arena is in the middle of nowhere, and most hockey fans up there either root for the Leafs or Canadiens.

Philadelphia Flyers. Well, it's Philly, and sports fans know all about the bad rap Philly gets, but come on, how can you roast a team with Gritty as their mascot?

Pittsburgh Penguins. Two words, Sydney Crosby. It's like we're seeing the Lebron James of hockey, not just he's been good for a long time, but he's kinda long in the tooth. And his flopping? Lebron-esque. Also, those home jerseys ain't cutting it. Piss yellow? Yuck.

Buffalo Sabres. I've never really liked them that much at all. Honestly. I don't know if it was their former play by play guy screaming GOOOOOOAL FOORRRR BUFFALLLLLOOOH, or their black jersey that had a white buffalo that looked more like the mascot for Elmer's Glue, or the fact that they had a man named Satan on their team back in the day. By the way, it was pronounced zha-TAN. Church Lady, your thoughts?

Boston Bruins. Man, it was nice to see Boston miss the playoffs last season. But they're still a pain in the ass to Lightning fans everywhere. 

Montreal Canadiens. For this one, I'm pulling an obscure SNL reference from a weekend update segment around 1989, in which Jon Lovitz portrayed a rather annoying character named Frenchy. Everything good? Good. 

Finally, the team that's closest to me, the Tampa Bay Lightning. Hate to have to roast my favorite team here, but I find that their in-game host (Greg Wolf) is somewhat annoying, their public address guy (Paul Porter) is VERY annoying (seriously, stop cheerleading), and they can't seem to win at home in the playoffs anymore (prior to Tuesday night, they were 1-10 in their last 11 home playoff games). I have my own theory as to why that may be, but I'll save it for another time.

Now for the west, let's start off with the Colorado Avalanche. Not much to roast them about other than I'm still bitter about 2022, that and they USED to be the Quebec Nordiques and had the best logo in hockey.

Los Angeles Kings. Will Ferrell, who I cannot stand, is one of the most famous fans.

Vegas Golden Knights. I don't think they've missed the playoffs once in their brief existence, their fans act entitled as a result, and it's in the gimmickiest of all gimmick towns. Not even Orlando, my old hometown, is that gimmicky. Yeah, I went there.

Anaheim Ducks. Radko Gudas, who is a pain in the neck and isn't all that good in my opinion, is on there. On the flip, they do have a well-liked former Bolt in Alex Killorn

Utah Mammoth. Newest team in the league even though they were technically the Arizona Coyotes, which went away when they were victimized by an Acme Catalog ownership group that couldn't get their act together and build them a home in the Phoenix area. Now they are in a land full of canyons, desert beauty, and Jesus freaks. And alleged sibling marriages.

Minnesota Wild. Their goal song (except for one postseason a few years ago when they went with "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince) has always sucked. Whether it's been "Crowd Chant" by Joe Satriani or "Shout" by the Isley Brothers. Do better, Minnesota.

Dallas Stars. Other that they're in Texas, there isn't much to roast about them. Now play me some Pantera.

Finally, we have the Edmonton Oilers, who apparently are still recovering from when Wayne Gretzky was sent to Los Angeles in 1988 (despite winning a Cup in 1990). They lost both Finals to the Florida Panthers, in and of itself an unforgiveable offence. Not only that, but you also have a state-of-the-art arena, yet had Sean McDonough, ESPN's lead hockey play-by-play man, call his games from a table from just outside where your center ice cameras are situated and not a proper press box. Terrible.

So, there is my attempted roasts of the sixteen teams in this year's Stanley Cup Playoffs. Who do I think wins? Probably Colorado or Carolina even though I will root for Tampa. I guess we'll all find out when the Summer Solstice arrives.

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Universe, What Did I Do?

 Good morning. This last week has been rather odd. I was gearing up for a massive day last Friday where I got to see a few old friends as well as my girl. And it was going swimmingly until Friday evening when I went to see my girl. Turns out her soon to be ex-husband showed up. Unbeknownst to me.

Since that time, a package I ordered online for her has been inexplicably delayed by USPS (gee, I wonder why?), a threshold on a money-making app I use has been met, but not credited, and the same thing that I was worried about this time last year has reared its ugly head again.

Tell me, universe, what did I do to deserve this???

Oh well, at least the Rays beat the Yankees last night...

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