Halloween../

Good eeeevening…

It's that week where every year, people get to play dress-up to spook away all the evil spirits that may be lurking. No, I'm not talking about the Zombie Apocalypse, the Purge, or the rise of #FloridaMan; I'm of course talking about Halloween.

For most people, Halloween is a time for Trick-or-Treating, and apple bobbing, and (if you're over 21) drinking various spirits. For me though, it's a rather somber day. In 1981 at the age of seven, I lost my mother.

From that day on, Halloween didn't mean all that much other than that. I don't remember trick-or-treating much after that. In fact, from the time I was maybe 10 until about 34 (2008) I personally didn't do jack shit for Halloween. Primarily because I had to work nights.

Then in 2008 on a rare night off from work, I decided to live a little and decide to play dress-up myself. Long story short, I wound up looking like this:

A cross between David C. Pumpkins and a lame pimp daddy. At least I tried.

Fast forward to 2010, and my friend from high school who I was interested in at the time dressed me up as Spock. We spent all night in downtown Orlando, and then to a wild-ass block/house party at some guy's house (I don't know who, nor did I care; I stayed in the woman's car with another female because I legit thought we were going to get busted). The next day, me and the woman I was seeing took her daughter trick-or-treating. Probably, the best memory of Halloween  I had.

Since then, nothing. Either work got in the way, or more recently, my health. Would I go out for Halloween again? Sure I would. Can I go out? Well, I have a couple of appointments with the VA that day, so technically yes. But, my one sister refuses to acknowledge it because of mom and for other reasons.

Talk about a Debbie Downer; say, that's a costume idea! Oh well. Enjoy your Halloween everyone!



CT

Meh Kind Of Saturday

You ever have one of those days where had no energy or desire to do anything, and it seems like everyone you know felt the same, and it seems like events surrounding you were somewhat uninspiring? That's how I feel today.

I don't know why though. Yesterday was pretty decent; my TC returned after a few days off, I was feeling rather pleasant most of the afternoon and evening, the music sounded a little better, it wasn't a perfect day by any stretch, but it felt like nothing could go wrong that was of any consequence (other than the Orlando Tragic, but that's an entirely different story altogether).

Today feels different. Have you seen those Honda ads that are out lately where every car has "blah" or "meh" written on them and are in this bland light brown/cream color? Until the Honda arrives and suddenly it's full of color again. That's the best way to describe what's happening.

Maybe it's because I was up so late last night on social media and watching an old episode of "Raw is War" (that's what "Raw" was called until after 9/11/01). When I woke to grab some oatmeal at 8am, I was honestly half asleep. I still felt that way for lunch this afternoon. It wasn't until about 3 this afternoon that I was fully awake, and even then I wanted to go back to sleep.

But there were a few things I wanted to get accomplished. I wanted to shave my beard before I go to a Social Security appointment on Tuesday. Plus I have an appointment with my mental health counselor on Wednesday (that should be fun for reasons I'd rather not discuss publicly). Before then,
I have some loose ends that need to be tied up. Tonight, I'll be busy watching TV, where EVERYTHING is seemingly happening at once (Lightning hockey, Magic basketball, UCF football, and Game 7 of the NLCS if I can stand watching Marlins Man). Then it's SNL. After that I should go to bed so that tomorrow I can watch the Bucs try not to trip over themselves against the Browns.

Did I say Bucs? The way they've been playing lately, I'd be better off sleeping anyway.



CT

Worry wart

Hello again, I thought I would take the time on this blog to delve into a uncomfortable topic for many on twitter. feelings. Yes, we all have them. Some, like I mentioned just a second ago, would rather not talk about them because let's be honest, who cares what others think? Then there are those that sometimes let their guard down and openly talk about them. I guess this post falls into the latter.

I have had great difficulty in the past expressing my feelings, partially because at times it feels like I'm showing/expressing them into a void and nobody's around to listen; or worse yet, the object of my desire will let it go one ear and out the other. Then, I fall into the trap of trying too hard, and ten times out of ten, it ends up badly.

I've had several near-misses, and three relationships that I can say I've been in. Two lasted six weeks each; in 2001 and 2005. The other was an online fling in 2009 with a woman from Germany that dissolved suddenly. According to her, she received a message from someone in my family that threatened her daughter. Making this more far fetched was that she never showed me any message she got, and never talked to me ever again afterwards. But enough about that. My point is I feel like I'm the only adult who isn't in a monastery who has yet to be in a fulfilling long-term relationship.

Fast forward to present-day. I find myself suddenly fascinated with a woman I discovered on twitter. Some of you may know who I'm referring to, but I won't mention her by name. I knew already that this was going to be a stretch; we're literally on opposite sides of the country. Thing is, does she really know how I feel about her and does she care? She hasn't been online the past few days, and I'm worried, that usually isn't me. Maybe because it's something I've longed for and for so long; the fact that I do matter to someone, that's driving me batty. Since I met her online, I've restarted this blog and began posting regularly again.  I guess you could say I've come out of my shell a bit.

But even that has me worried; I'm at the intersection of not doing enough and trying too hard. Even as I write this, there's things I want her to know (so that she can know me better) but are afraid to do so. My daughter Kaylee being one of those things. I've always...ALWAYS felt that I was inadequate, even if it isn't true. Years and years of falling flat on your face will do that to man, that and being overlooked and underappreciated.

I just wanted to put this out in hopes that the woman I'm talking about sees this. They say you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Well, I guess this is the best shot I can take.



CT

Let The NFL's Annual Circlejerk of the UK Commence

Well, it's that time of the NFL season. The time of season in which the league takes the next three weeks to send teams to London in their ongoing love affair with the Britons. This  year, it begins with the Seattle Seahawks taking on the Oakland (soon to be Las Vegas) Raiders at what was supposed to be the new stadium in north London, but it (which was supposed to be open by now) isn't quite ready , so they're going to play said game at Wembley Stadium.

Now you're probably thinking to yourself, "why those two teams and not two that are closer to London?" Well, that is a good question. There are two other games in London (Tennessee vs. Chargers on 10/21 followed by Philadelphia vs. Jacksonville on 10/28, more on those later) but for some reason, the NFL selected these two teams, which are two of the three teams furthest from the UK (San Francisco being the other), to play. Yeah, it's part of the league's ongoing effort (since 2007) to expand their global brand, but what if you live in the Pacific Northwest or San Francisco Bay area?

Take a look at the above map, courtesy of 506 sports (which you can also find here). The SEA-OAK game is colored in blue, which means unless you have Sunday Ticket, you'd have to be up at practically breakfast time to watch this game (10 PDT), and if you live in Alaska, even earlier (9 PDT). The good news is that it's 6pm British Daylight Time, so it could have been even earlier.

Which brings me to the second and third games at London. Both of these games will be played at 9:30am Eastern (2:30 London time). That's fine if you're Jacksonville or Philly. If you're in Tennessee it's a bit early, but Los Angeles? We're talking about 6:30; the butt crack of dawn. But, if you have seen a Chargers home game the last two years, it isn't like they have many fans (Every home game is practically an away game by proxy). However, if you live in Hawaii (home of Titans QB Marcus Mariota), you'd have to go to bed early Saturday night for the 4:30am kickoff.

Which brings me to the Jaguars, and their infatuation with London. As those of you who follow football may already know, Shad Khan, Jaguars owner, is also the owner of Fulham Football Club in London. Khan is already finalizing a deal to buy Wembley Stadium. But, don't expect the Jags to move to London anytime soon, if ever. With the exception of last year, the Jags played one home game at Wembley every year since 2013, and their agreement runs through 2020 (if I'm not mistaken). Considering their home game with the Eagles got sent overseas this year, that's too bad for Jacksonville.

Oh, one other thing, the currently undefeated Kansas City Chiefs face the currently undefeated Los Angeles Rams face each other later this year. The venue for this potential Super Bowl matchup?Estadio Azteca in Mexico City. Vamanos, mis amigos!



CT

Thursday thoughts

Hello again, everyone. Yesterday was quite eventful, some because of the wrong reasons, and some because of very good reasons. Then there was something that happened yesterday that made you think, "what the fuck?"

I won't get into the Kanye-Trump train wreck, because for starters most everything our so-called president says goes in one ear and out the other, and secondly, it's like Kanye took his crazy and ramped it up to 11. If you really want to delve into it there's a ton of articles on the web.

Also yesterday, I unfortunately had to observe an argument between my sisters that nearly became physical. I'll leave it at that so as to not sensationalize it (and why would I want to do that anyway), but I bring it up because I don't like to see conflict amongst my family; it only gets me more depressed than I actually am (and yes, I take Prozac). In fact, there was a time yesterday where I felt like not taking the meds I have been prescribed since my stroke...

But I snapped out of it, thanks to my TC. She sent me a DM asking if I had a picture I tweeted to her of a glittery pumpkin booty for a Halloween idea. I found said picture and sent it, and she took that idea and created her own peach booty. The fact that she wanted me to be part of something useful to her made my night. So what if the Lightning lost?

More to come later...


CT

Tuesday thoughts

Hello everyone. Found out that the birthday dinner for my sister will be around 4:30. I guess she doesn't want to miss the early bird special. lol.

Song playing right now is "Have You Seen Her" by Hammer. I've always thought that New Kids on the Block sang backing vocals on this version, but I haven't confirmed it yet. Guess I should look it up on Google...

Well, I can't find it on Google, and the video for said song has a different crew of backup singers, but I'm convinced that's NKOTB on backing vocals. Give it a listen sometime and comment below or on my twitter page.

Watched "Manifest" last night, and it gets more and more bizarre. If you haven't seen it, give it a watch on demand sometime. I'd rather not give a spoiler alert because I don't have much time this afternoon.

Going back to 90s music, is there a terrestrial radio station that specializes in that decade? I haven't listened to Tampa radio in a couple of years, and there are reasons for that. For starters, half of the market is dominated by iHeart media (formerly Clear Channel), which in my mind has ruined radio, and the other half of the market sucks in general. I won't listen to country, and the station my sisters listen to (the "classic hits" station) has a playlist about as thin as the St. Pauls, NC phonebook.

I just saw the Euro model forecast on Michael and yikes:

(WESH)

That looks bad, really bad.

I guess Nikki Haley resigned as UN ambassador this morning. I read somewhere that this is the 389th(!) person to leave Trump's administration since his inauguration. This administration is more of a train wreck than I thought, and that's saying something.

Congratulations to Drew Brees on becoming the NFL's all-time leading passer last night.

I guess I should "crumb up" as my late father would say and get ready for my sister's birthday dinner; no, we aren't having Mexican, despite it being taco Tuesday.


CT

Monday thoughts...

Well, I was going to spend my Monday evening celebrating my sister's birthday, but since she wasn't feeling it today, we decided to postpone it a day. So, in the meantime, I thought I would write some random thoughts that were in my head this evening.

As a Florida Gator fan, that damned tomahawk chop that the Braves use cannot end soon enough. Dodgers, please put the already-cursed city of Atlanta out of their misery.

Good, the Dodgers got out of the jam. May as well turn it to USA and Monday Night Raw.

Wednesday is World Mental Health Day, otherwise known as Twitter awareness day.

Oh, hi Triple H. Hi HBK. I can't wait for what you have to say after what happened Saturday in Australia.

Great, more forced nostalgia from WWE. Yeah, twenty years ago was great, and it didn't suck,but how about improving your existing product than having to rely on 50-year olds to increase your luster.

Good God, my Twitter crush just posted a video on her page. I'm smitten

Atlanta is gone. Bye-bye!

For the love of God, would somebody shut up Lio Rush?

Now that Taylor Swift has jumped aboard the Blue Tsunami, does that mean Katy Perry has to make up with her? Does that mean iHeart communications will now excommunicate her?

Shut up Chris, you're overthinking this, I should watch that video again on Twitter.

Okay, better now.

This has been a bad week for kickers in the NFL. Will Lutz just missed a PAT. Mason Crosby missed five kicks on Sunday, makes me glad my Bucs had a bye week.

Good Grief, Lio Rush is still yapping.

Was that a heel turn by Bobby Lashley?

Hey the Red Sox are winning...yay???

I'd love to know what the deal is with John Cena's new hairdo.

Magic are playing on TV for the only time this preseason, and yes, I'm afraid it'll be another lost season.

I'm honestly not concerned about Hurricane Michael, because it's not going to affect us. Panama City on the other hand? Well, hunker down. And since there are a bunch of Trumpsters there, maybe I should send thoughts and prayers.

I can't get into this Saints-Washington game, I'm sorry.

Is it me, or does it seem like mass media (like Spectrum, Comcast, etc.) is  trying to take over every aspect of our lives? They're into mobile service and home protection now. Seems like we're heading for a Brave New World-esque future. Hopefully the government doesn't get involved...

I'm not out of thoughts, but I am closing this blog for the night.



CT

Game on!

"Hello out there, we're on the air. It's hockey night tonight." If you're a hockey fan, you definitely know what that phrase means. The NHL season has arrived, and around these parts, it means we finally can root for a team that actually has expectations for the new season; the Tampa Bay Lightning. Last year, the Bolts looked to be a sure bet to at least reach the Stanley Cup Final, but they ran out of gas in the conference final vs. Washington, and for the third time in four years, fell short of their ultimate goal.

This year, you'd think they have to win the Cup, or they'll pretty much be the late-90s version of the Atlanta Braves or the early-90's New York Knicks; teams that had immense talent but couldn't win it all. Yes, the Braves won it all in 1995 but what are they best known for? Falling apart come the postseason. The Bolts have pretty much the same core group from last season, however there will be a notable difference in the front office. Steve Yzerman will step down as GM, and his assistant Julien BriseBrois takes over. Y will stay around for one more year as senior advisor before taking over the same position at Detroit spending more time with his family.

As for who I'll pick to win it all, I'm not making one. Because if last year proved anything, the NHL is by far the most unpredictable of the Big 4 sports leagues. You could say it is the opposite of the NBA (where we've seen Golden State vs. Cleveland in the Finals the past four years and LeBron in the last eight). Case in point, here's who I picked in the playoffs last year:

TB over NYR

TOR over MTL

PIT over BOS

CBJ over WSH

NSH over STL

CHI over MIN

ANA over SJ

EDM over LA

TB over TOR

CBJ over PIT

CHI over NSH

EDM over ANA

TB over CBJ

EDM over CHI

TB over EDM

Montreal, New York, Chicago, St. Louis, and Edmonton missed the playoffs entirely. I had Washington flaming out in the First Round as usual (though I did get the matchup right), And Vegas and Winnipeg surprised everyone. This year, expect more unpredictability, and as Doc Emrick would say, "What chaos!"

I do hope the Cup comes back to Tampa though.

Game on!



CT

It's Been A While...

Hello from the diseased wang of the US. As you probably can tell, it's been about a year since I last posted on this outlet. Why, you ask? Well for starters, I couldn't really type since my stroke last August; at least not as well as I used to (try typing with some numbness on your left side; it's more difficult than you think). Secondly, and possibly the biggest reason, is that I haven't had the motivation to post a long-form entry about something during that time frame. Nobody really liked me (at least that's what I thought), and I really didn't think people would care what I would have to say. But, as Alecia Moore (that's P!nk, if you didn't already know) sang a few years ago, you gotta get up and try. So, here I am.

This morning on my twitter feed, someone wrote this to me:

 You're like google....for those who don't want to bother going to Google...and then don't like the search results
Thanks for the warm comment, @mikef1776. I don't know whether that's a compliment or not, but let me explain. I didn't know what Bumble was, and yes I didn't feel like going to Google or Bing and search it, so I asked. My response wasn't because I didn't like what I was told (It's a dating app), it was because I don't like dating apps. Period. I've never used one, and I likely never will. But Bony, you ask, haven't you complained about not dating in the past? Yes, I have, and I still do, now it's because I don't have the means to go out. It's a long story to be quite frank, and I'll go more into detail about it one day, just not today. There is someone I'm interested in, it's just that she's literally on the opposite side of the country from me. Geography can be a real bitch sometimes. Anyway, that's what caused me to write this entry today. If I ever get to the point where I can type without making a mistake again, I'll post more. For now, goodbye CT