Is It Almost Summer Already?

Greetings for the first time on this platform in over a month. And given the date that I am typing this, Feliz Cinco de Mayo! Sorry, my laptop keyboard is unable to type accent marks or the upside down exclamation point, so excuse the improper use of the Spanish language. It is, though, 5th of May...and a Friday, so PLEASE...celebrate responsibly if you so choose to do so.

And since it is now being the month of May, Justin Timberlake, that means that summer is just around the corner. Unless you're in Florida, where summer has a six-week head start, and here in Florida, the month of April was hotter than a Winghouse Girl fighting a forest fire (more on the fire part in a moment). Of course, it's not absurd in the least that it would be naturally warmer in Florida than the rest of the country this time of year, but in the Tampa Bay region at least, it felt more like late-May/early-June than mid-to-late April. Seriously, 96 for a high on April 29? That isn't beach weather, that's try to avoid a heat stroke at all costs weather. I recall visiting Weather Underground's website last week and there were unofficial weather stations that were recording temperatures in the triple digits. Triple. Freaking. Digits.

Not to mention, Florida has had a substantial lack of rain this spring. April showers bringing May flowers? Not this year. In fact, today the National Weather Service released its latest drought report for Florida, and it isn't good. A significant portion north and west of Lake Okeechobee is now under an extreme drought condition, and most of Central and Southwest Florida is under a severe drought.

And with the lack of rain comes the outbreak of wildfires, and just a couple of weeks ago, some significant wildfires forced evacuations in the southwest part of the state. But the fires near Naples and north of Okeechobee weren't the worst ones. That one belongs to the Okefenokee Swamp area, straddling the Florida-Georgia line (no, not country music's version of Nickelback) near Jacksonville. Officials throughout the state have issued burn bans in practically every county in peninsular Florida except in metro Jacksonville and metro South Florida.

The good news? The season of afternoon thundershowers should be arriving shortly, which could quench most of this state with some badly needed rain. Just as long as there are no major hurricanes threatening the state summer...

That's all I have for now. It's nearing 2am here but I'll be back with the next few days with more to write.

Until next time...

Bony Scribe

What I learned from the first weekend of the tournament.

Good morning. As those of you who follow college basketball obviously know by now, we have reached the Sweet 16, and although there are some usual suspects in said Sweet 16, there are a few glaring omissions, most notably Duke and defending champion Villanova.

North Carolina made it, and in doing so became the only team from the ACC left. Wake Forest got dumped in the First Four, and Miami and Virginia Tech were bounced Thursday/Friday. But this weekend was one big Crying Jordan for ACC faithful. Notre Dame? Bounced by West Virginia. Virginia? Throttled by Florida. Louisville? Bamboozled by Meeechigan. Finally there's Duke, who got henpecked by...South Carolina???

A few words about the Gamecocks: no, I am not a fan. If I had to choose between them and Clemson, 101 times out of 100 it would be Clemson. And don't get me started on their coach; Frank Martin.

(chicagonow.com)

Dude is the modern day version of Bobby Knight. Screaming, ranting, raving, and overall just being an a*****e to his players. When he left K-State (presumably because him and AD John Currie did not see eye to eye), I thought to myself, "great, now Kansas State can be rootable once again." (I'm no fan of Kansas, either). Until I realized that he was at South Carolina. Poop. I was hoping they would miss the tournament altogether. Now they're in the Sweet 16, where they haven't been since 1973. Their tournament legacy can be summed up in two seasons; 1997 and 1998 where as #2 and #3 seeds, they lost to Coppin State and Richmond. El-Oh-Bleeping-El.

Their reward for beating the Dookies? Baylor. Uggggggh. The athletic program NOBODY likes. Let's take a look at their recent stellar basketball history, shall we? Hoo boy. And that's just hoops. Football? Holy cow. I'd need two weeks to go over every single thing wrong with that outfit, so here's some articles from Deadspin about how mismanaged their Athletic Department is.

And yes, their chancellor is the same Ken Starr who was independent counsel during the Clinton Impeachment hearings.

But enough about USC South Carolina and Baylor, here's what else we learned from the first weekend of play:

There were no real Cinderellas. Only one twelve seed (a 30-win Middle Tennessee squad) won their first round game. Only one double-digit seed (Xavier) made the Sweet 16. Speaking of Xavier, uh, Florida State, what happened? Three of the four #1 seeds made it past this weekend; the aforementioned Villanova being the lone casualty; to Wisconsin.

Oh, and you filled out a bracket, it probably looks like this:

Oops...

Be that is it may, the Madness starts up again this Thursday night. Suffice to say if you're a fan of Arizona, Kansas, and North Carolina right now, you have to like your chances of getting to Glendale. As for the East region, now that Duke and Nova are out, could it be possible that FLORIDA makes the Final Four???

I have my fingers crossed.



CT

March Madness, But Winter Ain't Dead Yet

Greetings everyone, spring is just around the corner which means two things: the NCAA College Basketball Tournament and warmer weather.  Yes, there are more than just two (Spring Training, Daylight Savings Time, etc.), but for the purposes of this post, I'm choosing to focus on these.

March Madness is Here

First, college basketball. Anyone and everyone who follows sports (and some who don't) usually takes time to fill in a bracket for the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Some also fill out a bracket for the women's tournament, but let's be honest; women's basketball is a one team show and has been for a few years now. Every tournament is practically the UConn Invitational because the Connecticut Huskies women's basketball team has won an insane 105 consecutive games. So that tournament is a foregone conclusion. The men is somewhat a different story...somewhat.

More often than not, schools that reach the Final Four (TM) are the usual suspects; Kentucky, Kansas, Louisville, North Carolina, Duke, usually a Big Ten team, sometimes a Pac-12 team, a Big East team, and every once in a blue moon a Cinderella mid-major squad (George Mason in 2006). Admittedly I have not watched much college basketball this season. I'm over the Duke-UNC rivalry for the most part; which wasn't the bane of my college hoops fandom in my younger years, but was quite significant. Back in those days (mid-to-late 80s) Duke quite wasn't the behemoth of the program that they are now under Coach Krzyzewski; growing up in St. Pauls, NC is was more UNC vs NC State; Dean Smith vs Jim Valvano. No don't get me wrong, Smith and Coach K was quite the rivalry (which at this point was just starting to warm up), but for some reason it was the late Valvano (and his infectious, gregarious personality) that was second fiddle to the Dean. Winning that title at Albuquerque in 1983 certainly helped. But it wasn't until Duke had their Final Four run in 1986 and NC State's fall from grace amidst scandal soon thereafter that Duke-UNC garnered all the attention.

But I digress...

So no, I haven't watched much college basketball this year. I did attend one game: South Florida hosting South Carolina. God the Bulls were horrible this year. How horrible? Well, this happened. Aside from that being the most Tampa thing to happen to a college basketball team, that's about as rock bottom as you can get.

Speaking of Tampa, and going back to my earlier rant, remember when University of Tampa beat NC State??? Good times (and I think what was the beginning of the end of the Valvano era in Raleigh).

Anyway, before this post goes completely off the rails, here are what few observations I made about what sporatic college basketball I did watch:

The Big Ten Tournament was played in Washington DC; nowhere near their Midwest fan base; as a wink and a nod to Maryland. The ACC Tournament was held in Brooklyn. First time they've been in the northeast. So you have the Big Ten in ACC country and the ACC in traditional Big East country. Not to mention, Northwestern...NORTHWESTERN...had their best record in school history and punched their first ever ticket to the men's tournament. And the Ivy League had a conference tournament for the first time ever. 

Speaking of the Tournament, Amway Center in Orlando is a site for this weekend's action. Four teams from Florida made the field and three of them are playing in Orlando: Florida, Florida State, and Florida Gulf Coast. Also coming to Orlando, my favorite mid-major school: UNCW! My thoughts on the bracket:

• Florida doesn't make it out of Orlando
• UNCW reaches New York and the Sweet 16, they have to beat UVa first.
• Wichita State was woefully underseeded and Illinois State got screwed.
• In fact, if you were a mid-major that didn't win their conference tournament, you were screwed royally. Just ask Monmouth.

The team I have winning it all: Kentucky. Total homer pick for my daughter (who turns 18 on Friday and I am freaking out about it). Speaking of who, she got a prom dress this past weekend...and a prom date! Her dress is blue and blue looks very good on her; makes me wish she can go to college where she lives in Lexington and become a Wildcat...hmmm...maybe I can do something in the future to make that happen...but I digress.

But I have Kentucky beating defending champion Villanova in...Phoenix this year. Hold up, I had to Google that info. Is it too late to double check my bracket to take a closer look at Arizona?  Ok, just one change to make; I replaced Nova with Arizona. So Kentucky will beat Arizona to win the title. And since the Final is being held in Arizona, the weather should be nice to be out and about...which brings me to...

Winter Ain't Dead Yet

As I am writing this, the northeast is getting ready to get hammered by a very late winter storm. And the good folks at the Weather Channel has given in the name of Stella...can you imagine hearing Marlon Brando shouting "HEY STELLA!!!!" out his window as he's stuck inside during this snowstorm (of course if winter storms were named back in the day). Definitely no streetcar named desire for this one. The one before Stella was named Reggie. Sorry, when I think of Reggie, I don't think of blizzard conditions in the middle of February; I think of Mr. October himself, Reggie Jackson. Well, winter weather does happen in October so...maybe it fits???

Anyway, and I'm sure I have mentioned this in a previous post, but naming winter storms are dumb. The NWS doesn't do it, so they aren't official anyway. However, in the interests of me poking fun at the Weather Channel's policy of doing so, I have created my own naming list of winter storms:

Achoo (because you sneeze in winter)

Blyad' (a Russian profanity)

Carbonate (Han Solo was frozen in it)

Dingbat (who I think folks at TWC are for doing this)
Electra (bc Carmen got pretty cold after marrying Dennis Rodman)

Fahrvergnugen (just a cool sounding name)
Gossamer... (just hair and sneakers)
Hasenpfeffer (another cool sounding name, right Yosemite Sam?)
Icanteven (seriously, I can't even with these)
Jackfrost (fitting)
Kringle (again, fitting)
Labrador (it's cold in Canada, eh?)
Margie (this one's personal)
Nincompoop (again, a foolish practice)
OMG (more like SNOWMG, am I right?)
Poo (bc winter weather is really shitty)
Rapscallion (slides off the tongue nicely)
Scuzzlebutt (South Park yeti)
Toejam (I thought about using Trump, but I didn't want to get too political. Still, gross)
Vick (or Vap-O Rub, to clear those dripping nostrils)
Wingding (seriously, have you seen the wingding font?)
Yahtzee (bc that's what you wind up playing when you have no electricity in an icestorm)

Hope this made you laugh, a little.

Well, I have to get ready to do some training here shortly for a new venture I am partaking in. Some life changes are on the way; hopefully for the better. In the meantime, enjoy the basketball and stay warm!

CT

Super Bowl Aftermath: Poor Atlanta

Greetings once again. I'm back to give you my thoughts on an unprecedented Super Bowl that took place Sunday evening. One which saw the first overtime in Super Bowl history, and arguably the biggest single-game choke in championship history.

First half of the game was virtually all Atlanta. Matt Ryan was on fire, they were running the ball, the front four of the Falcons defense got to Brady. It was unlike what we have seen in previous Super Bowls regarding the Patriots in the Belichick/Brady era. It was 21-3 at half and it seemed like this was going to be another Super Bowl blowout.

Then Lady Gaga stole the show at halftime, one of the better halftime performances we have ever seen (though nothing will top Prince in the rain in Miami ten years ago). Joe Buck, Fox broadcaster, did make one interesting point as the second half began; the Falcons had gone nearly an hour without an offensive possession before halftime.

That factor didn't seem like much of a big deal when in the Falcons second possession of the third quarter, they scored a touchdown to make it 28-3. After that, reports on social media came out the President Trump left his Super Bowl party at Mar-a-Lago, likely in disgust not only with the outcome of the game (he is friends with Brady and Patriots owner Robert Kraft), but with the bevvy of commercials which seemed like an indirect "bleep you" to him and his policies enacted since he took Office.

All of a sudden, it seemed like the Patriots had one of those moments that you would see in the WWE where the fan favorite comes alive out of nowhere after being down and out, and begins to rally. They got a touchdown, but missed the PAT. Then they got a FG. Suddenly it's a two possession game, and also the Falcons offense began to sputter. Then a fumble recovery, followed by another touchdown and a two-point conversion. One possession game. Then the turning point:

After a ridiculous catch by Julio Jones put the Falcons on the NE 22 with about four minutes left, the Falcons seemed in prime position to finish off the Patriots. Then a curious play call that led to Matt Ryan getting sacked for a loss of ten. Then an offensive holding penalty that knocked them back ten yards further. Instead of a game-sealing field goal they wound up punting with a little more than two minutes left.

Brady put together a critical drive helped by what was the opposite of the David Tyree catch that befell them in Super Bowl XLII, Julian Edelman's catch off a deflection that, had it not been for the leg of Robert Alford, would have been an incomplete pass. They would tie the game with a touchdown and another two-point conversion, and the Atlanta collapse was complete. Falcons did have one last possession in regulation, but two costly timeouts taken in the third quarter and an unsuccessful challenge off the Edelman catch left them with no time to stop the clock, so we had the first overtime period in Super Bowl history.

Patriots won the toss, methodically drove down the field, and won the game on a two yard James White touchdown. Completing not only the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, but also arguably the most epic choke in championship game history.

And to be honest, it couldn't happen to a better city or fanbase. As a fan of the Magic, Bucs and Gators, it's easy to dislike that city from a sports standpoint; Hawks, UGA, and of course the Pigeons, not to mention this city lost not one but TWO NHL teams, and the Braves, or should I say Barves, are just annoying (and they stole FSU's tomahawk chop). Their only championship came in 1995 against a team from that (until recently) was just as cursed with bad sports luck, Cleveland.

Let's face it, Atlanta (and probably Georgia as well) has taken loss after loss after loss, ever since General Sherman ran roughshot through Georgia in the Civil War. I already told you about their two hockey team failures. Jimmy Carter was a one-term president. The Hawks have never reached the NBA Finals since coming to Atlanta from St. Louis. They did host the Olympics (somehow), but the legacy of those games was marred by a terrorist attack. And the Braves hoodwinked the taxpayers of Cobb County into building them a new ballpark, even though their perfectly good now former home was merely twenty years old. Plus, Ryan Seacrest is from Atlanta, and on a personal note, I was born there; thankfully my father pulled up the stakes and relocated to Orlando within a year.

When someone brings up the question "which area has the most forlorn fanbase in all of sports?" The answer shouldn't be Cleveland, or Buffalo, or even San Diego. But Atlanta. Fair-weather fans? Check. Lack of titles? Check. Shady stadium deals? Check.

It isn't like the city has NOTHING going for them though; their film industry is vibrant, more so than Florida's (you taking notes, Gov. Voldemoort?). And of course, there is Coca-Cola (and even they tried to screw that up) and Chick-fil-A (which is still closed on Sundays) as well as many other major corporations based there. But as far as the Falcons are concerned, many football fans (who are sick and tired of the Patriots) have this to say to them:

Congratulations to the Patriots, and now we wait for next season.

CT

PS: I wonder if anyone has seen Tom Brady's Super Bowl jersey?

I'm back writing

Seriously, I need to do this more often...

Anyway, I'm back writing to give you some thoughts here and there about what's been happening the last couple of weeks. No, not all of this will be political (thank God), but I will touch on a couple of matters. Anyway, let me begin with last weekend.

For those of you who live in and around the Tampa area, you know what last Satruday was, for those who aren't, humor me here. Every year around this time (usually the week before the Super Bowl) there is a gigantic civic event here called Gasparilla, which is basically a faux invasion of pirates into downtown Tampa. Along with this pirate invasion is a huge parade, with beads and floats and a LOT of booze being drank.

Usually the weather for this event is Chamber of Commerce-like; sunny, dry, and around 70 degrees F. This year? Not so much. Overcast and cool (cold for Florida standards); temperatures didn't reach 60, which for the Tampa area is rather unusual even for January. Anyway, despite all of that; I still managed to get a sunburn (sorry, for some reason I can't load this pic onto this computer from my phone right now). Somewhat alarming when you consider 1) the temperature and 2) no sun. UV rays are nothing to mess with; I'll save my global warming rant for another time however; probably this summer. Anyway, I did have fun (without drinking), albeit most of the things I wanted to do via my social media platforms (twitter, facebook, Instagram) were a no-go; 300,000 people along a two to three-mile (?) stretch of Bayshore Blvd as well as Downtown Tampa meant (for me at least) a lot of data being transferred from everyone's mobile devices, and I got squeezed. Uggh.

Whether I go next year remains to be seen. I was flat-out pooped at the end of the night and I slept for at least twelve hours thereafter.

Spiraling Out Of Control

Ok. I don't like to bring up politics on this blog (hell, it's mostly sports; but not everone likes sports), but after these past two weeks I'm inclined to give my thoughts on what has happened. Especially the past week. We are two weeks into the Trump administration and somehow, the sky has not fallen; yet. I say yet because there has been so much consternation regarding Trump's executive orders (Muslim ban; re-enforcement of the "global gag rule", etc), it seems like the whole country is about to explode at a moment's notice. I have to wonder to myself if this was how living in the 60's was like under Johnson (Civil Rights Act) and Nixon (Vietnam Conflict).

I voted for neither Trump nor Clinton (Evan McMullin) in November. So suffice to say, I'm not in favor of what has been going on; at least not in favor of the way Trump has been going about doing business. And yes, I have lost "friends" back in NC for it. Mostly because I took a shot at Robeson County for being naïve; after Hurricane Matthew flooded out Lumberton, Trump paid a visit and helped distribute water and other needs. Did he have to? No. But you know what that was in my opinion? A cuss-fired infernal PR move to try to sway the votes of otherwise heavily-democratic-leaning county. And guess what? It worked. Trump won RobCo because those narrow-minded country bumpkins up there (I can say that; I lived there) thought Trump's PR move gave them the impression he was a man of God. News flash: he isn't. You've been duped.

Anyway, I'm digressing into the Dark Side of the Force, so allow me to get back. This past week, there was quite the riot in Berkeley because Milo Yiannopoulos, an editor at notorious right-wing website Breitbart, was scheduled to speak on the campus at the University of California there. Given that California is one of the more (if not most) liberal state in the US, some probably knew that this was a risky idea. And it was. Milo cancelled the speech out of fear for his own safety, and the FBI is now investigating the mayor of Berkeley for inciting a riot.

Was this disgraceful? Absolutely. Regardless of what side of the Aisle you fall on. I thought that our Nation was supposed to promote an open exchange of beliefs and ideas. If you disagreed, then you disagreed. But resorting to violence to prevent these exchange of ideas/opinions from taking place? Deplorable (no pun intended). If you're going to protest, all you need to do is make sure a) your voices are heard and b) you have acknowledgement that said protest is taking place. There is a right way and a wrong way to do things here. The wrong way is blocking streets and setting things afire, destroying property, fighting and causing bodily harm. Yeah it may get you headline news, but it hurts your cause in the long run, whatever cause that may be. But, it's just one snapshot of how things are spiraling out of control. Hopefully, peace will be restored this weekend as Trump takes the weekend off in Mar-a-Lago.

Other Weird Things

Went to the Lightning home game Thursday against the Ottawa Senators, and it struck me how bizarre things seemed to be from that game as opposed to most any other game the past two seasons at Amalie Arena. First, the team itself is having an awful year; last place in the Eastern Conference and third-worst in the league. This after two seasons where they reached the Stanley Cup Final and the Eastern Conference Final. Second, the anthems that were performed Thursday night. The young girl who sang "O, Canada" botched the lyrics a couple of times, but got through it. What was more striking was the "Star-Spangled Banner". Sonya Bryson sang, and nailed it as usual, but Kristof, organist at Amalie Arena, changed it up quite a bit. It was played at a much lower key than usual; rather somber to be honest. Furthermore, it was somewhat slower in tempo. I asked on twitter if it was indeed Kristof on organ that night, and one follower said that indeed it was. Just bizarre. Also bizarre, it seems like more and more people are selling their tickets to games. That's sad. Last two seasons, Lightning hockey was appointment watching. Not so much this year.

Super Bowl

Hard to believe, but tomorrow is Super Sunday, and for the first time ever I really couldn't care less. I don't like the Patriots. I don't like the Falcons. I may not even watch the game if you could believe that. Though if the Pats do win, which I think they will, I'd like to see the look on Roger Goodell's face when he hands Robert Kraft the Lombardi trophy. After suspending Tom Brady after the deflategate scandal, I can only imagine the Pats' win would be one big ol' "Bleep You" to Goodell.

I think I've written enough for one day. Hope to be back again soon. Take care.

CT

Brief preview of tonight's game

Real quick post today since it is Thursday and there is a game tonight; Jets at Bills. But first, here's how I did last week:

Wins:
DEN
TB
GB
SEA
OAK
MN
BAL
PHI
KC
HOU
NYG
PIT

Losses:
CIN
DET
NE
SF

So a 12-4 record. That's pretty good (and I did get lucky on a few).

Now for tonight, Jets at Bills in the first of the NFL Color Rush games. If memory serves me correct this matchup was the first EVER such game, annnd it didn't go over very well:

Fortunately, there won't be such need to worry if you're colorblind (although I understand there are now glasses that can correct colorblindness). The Jets will be wearing white in Orchard Park tonight. As for the game itself, the Bills have won five straight over the Jets, and are expected to have wide receiver Sammy Watkins play tonight.

For the Jets, keep an eye on veteran corner Darrelle Revis, who had an awful game against AJ Green and the Bengals last week. Andy Dalton threw to Green against Revis ten times, and complete all of them for 152 yards and a TD. Revis Island was invaded and plundered.

I don't expect that to be the case this week, Watkins' foot isn't 100% (he's listed as questionable), and Revis surely has an axe to grind. Otherwise, there isn't a whole lot as far as I am concerned to look at because I don't really follow either team. Be that as it may, I feel the Jets have something to prove to their former coach Rex Ryan.

My pick: Jets.

I'll have more either tomorrow or Saturday, enjoy.

Merry Christmas, NFL fans!

Hello Everyone and if you're a fan of the NFL like I am, Merry Christmas. Today is the day we have been waiting for since Peyton Manning rode off into the sunset winning Super Bowl 50, while sending shoutouts to Anheuser-Busch and this guy:

Better ingredients, better pizza? Depends on who you ask (I think it's okay). Peyton meanwhile is now teaming up with Lionel Richie for DirecTV's Sunday Ticket ad campaign. Speaking of DirecTV, here's a cute prop bet for you all: who will make more appearances during NFL games this season while you're running to the bathroom, Lionel, or Jon Bon Jovi? If the NFL had any fun with their product I could totally see Bon Jovi sing about turning back time to overturn calls in games that affected the final score, like the Dez Bryant non-catch, the offensive pass interference on Drew Pearson back in the 70's (sorry old-school Vikings fans), or THIS play:

Yeah, I'm still bitter about that one. 17 years later. Anyway I digress.

So Peyton and his Broncos rode off into the Santa Clara sunset, Cam Newton sulked about losing the biggest game in Carolina Panthers history, and all our attentions turned to the two most disdainful people running for President in United States history. Suffice to say that the NFL returning is a godsend.

What's new?

The NFL made some rule changes this spring; one big one being the movement of the starting line of scrimmage for touchbacks from the 20 to the 25 yard line. I presume this was done to enhance even more offense, but I wonder if it was also done because so many kickoffs (since moving them from the 30 to the 35 yard line) were touchbacks and not being returned, which is odd because it contradicts the NFL wanting to limit kick returns because of player safety and such. By the way, the helmet rule that is related to player safety is silly. Some of us NFL fans, especially those that have been around since the 80s, are kind of fond of throwback helmets and uniforms. Especially this:

...and this:

I miss Bucco Bruce and Pat Patriot to be honest.

Also new, a new stadium in Minnesota, a new roof in Miami (and a different stadium name for the forty-leventh time), badly needed new scoreboards in Tampa, and biggest of all something new that's something old as well; the LOS ANGELES Rams.

How does the season shake out? I'll get to that at the end of this article, but without further ado, let's look at Week 1 starting tonight, and well well well look what we have here:

Carolina at Denver:

Yes, it's the rematch of the Super Bowl, something that hasn't happened to kick off the new season since Chiefs-Vikings in 1970; the VERY FIRST week of the NFL post-merger. The Panthers retain most of their starters from last season, with one glaring exception; Josh Norman, who is now with the Redskins (we'll get to that). Jared Allen retired but they did keep Charles Johnson at DE. Also, Kelvin Benjamin is healthy again; another target for Cam.

As for the Broncos, with both Manning and Brock Ostweiler (Ostweiler??? I didn't even...nevermind), who signed a big contract with Houston gone, their hopes lie on...Trevor Siemian??? (Cue the Verne Lundquist asking Peter Jacobsen "who the hell is Happy Gilmore?" scene from said movie). A 7th-round pick from Northwestern in his second season making his first career NFL start. His only prior NFL action? A kneel-down. That's it. Fun fact about Siemian: he's from the Orlando area and set an Orange County passing record while at Olympia High; a school that didn't even exist 16 years ago. His preseason stats? Average; 27-43/285yds 1 TD and 2 INTs. But GM John Elway says he continues to make plays. And the Broncos do have Demaryius Thomas back as well as their RB tandem of CJ Anderson and Devontae Booker. I don't see that big of a dropoff for the Broncos this season, but tonight may be some tough sledding; they are a 3 point home dog (according to Westgate Superbook in Vegas). BUT, if Siemien can get time to throw the ball downfield, and accurately, this may be a mild upset in the making, and I never count out the Broncos at home. Ever.

My pick: Broncos

Tampa Bay at Atlanta:

Dirk Koetter is the new head coach in Tampa, and with it comes new optimism. Jameis Winston begins his second season as Bucs QB and look to improve and MAYBE contend for a playoff spot. Interesting sidenote to this game, Koetter and new defensive coordinator Mike Smith were of course with the Falcons two seasons ago, only with Smith as head and Koetter as offensive coordinator. Dan Quinn begins his second season in Hotlanta as head coach. Last year started promising; a 5-0 start! Then the Bucs came to town Week 7 and the bottom fell out on the Dirty Birds' Season; 2-7 after that loss. Key matchup to watch here in my opinion will be the Falcons run game vs the Bucs front seven. The Bucs did lead the preseason in sacks, but it was the PRESEASON. Falcons are thin at wideout after Julio Jones, but the Bucs running game is also thin with third stringer Mike James waived due to injury; and his replacement won't be announced until Saturday according to reports.

Fun Fact: the Falcons have won eight straight home openers at the GeorgiaDome, but this is their last season there; Mercedes-Benz Stadium opens next door in 2017.

Not So Fun Fact: The Buccaneers have finished last in their division five straight years, tied with the Cleveland Browns for the longest active such streak. In fact, when you do not take tiebreakers into consideration, the Bucs hold the record for most consecutive seasons in or tied for last place with seven; from 1989 to 1995, the last year before Hall of Famer Tony Dungy arrived. What's interesting to note is that record would have belonged to the Falcons, had it not been for a tie in Fulton-County Stadium against the 49ers in the 1986 season. A game I happen to remember watching on television in Robeson County, NC.

Back to the here and now though. Hey Jameis, are the Bucs going to finish last again this year??



(courtesy: Vine)

That's what I want to hear! I've been a Bucs fan since I was a wee little kid going to Orlando Christian School and I'm hungry for a winning season. I say it starts Sunday! SIEGE THE DAY BITCHES!!

My (homer) pick: Buccaneers


Green Bay at Jacksonville

Don't get me wrong, I like Jacksonville's future, and I like Blake Bortles. I like what Shad Khan is doing for the First Coast area. It's a shame for their sake that come Sunday two-thirds of Everbank Stadium will be full of cheeseheads. But hey, they do have a nice pool there!

Ugh...is anyone else sick of Marlins Man yet?

Anyway, the Pack look to take back the NFC North and after the way their season finished last year I'm pretty sure they may have an axe to grind about it. I don't think Aaron Rodgers will need a Discount Double-check hail Mary in what should be a de-facto home game for Green Bay. Jax, I love ya but it ain't your time yet.

My pick: Packers

Miami at Seattle:

While Marlins Man is gracing this post with his presence, why not we talk about the football team that represents South Florida?

Remember all those years ago when Shula was coach and how dominant they were in September? Good times. This year, they're pretty much running through a gauntlet to start the year:

@ Seattle

@ New England

     Cleveland

@ Cincinnati

Other than the Browns home opener, good luck eking out a win with THAT schedule!

Of course the Fish get rewarded with four straight home games until back to back road games against San Diego and Los Angeles. Sheesh.

Hate to say it but the playoff push may have to wait another year. Especially if Ryan Tannehill (or as some Dolphins fans on Twitter call him, Tanne-kill) has another off-season and Ndomukong Suh decides to go through the motions again. Good news though for this matchup: Pro Football Focus has the Seahawks' offensive line ranked as the worst in football.

That's where the good news ends though for Miami. The Hawks despite Beast Mode leaving the building have Thomas Rawls, who is quite a bit to handle as far as bringing him down (he is recovering from an ankle issue however, so Christine Michael is ahead on the depth chart). Their receiving corps is only getting better, and that defense. And Russell Wilson may just be the best quarterback in the league.

My pick: Seahawks

Cleveland at Philadelphia

The Carson Wentz Era begins in Philly. Here's his reception when he entered the field for his first snaps in the preseason:

Carson Wentz enters the game...to a standing ovation. #Eagles pic.twitter.com/yZBR7tPb3i

— Bony Scribe (@bonyscribe) August 12, 2016

Yes, I was at that game, and the pottymouthed comment at the end perfectly sums up Philly fan: "don't (bleep) it up!"

Philly fans get a bum rep in my opinion. The day and a half I was in Philadelphia was quite pleasant, and I can't wait to get back there. Plus I follow several Philly fans on Twitter and vice versa. When I was at said game I didn't see nor hear any of the typical cheap shots fans in Philly get (about how rude and brutal they are, etc.); they're just a passionate fanbase who years for a winner like every other fan base does. Of course being in the northeast and competing against teams from New York and DC there's a higher standard to uphold. But hey, Chris Jenkins though...

(lybio.net)

Sorry, Tarheel fans, I went there.

As for the game, remember the stat I mentioned earlier for the Bucs-Falcons game? Yep. It's the Browns. Not much to say here except they MAY win one game this season. Talk about a buzz kill after the championship the Cavs finally brought to NE Ohio and the season the Indians are having in baseball. Browns fans will be asking when Cavs season starts by Week Three end of the first half on Sunday.

My pick: E-A-G-L-E-S! EAGLES!!

And now, the rest of my picks for Week 1, home team in caps:

JETS over Bengals:

Bit of a surprise here, but consider the Jets were 10-6 and almost made the playoffs last year. This is a team not to sleep on. Speaking of teams not to sleep on...

Raiders over SAINTS:

Yes, you read this right. I'm picking the Raiders. A surprise playoff run probably won't keep them from moving to Las Vegas, but then again maybe it will if voters in Nevada have their say.

RAVENS over Bills:

No, Joe Flacco isn't quite elite. No, the Bills are not a playoff team. I'll just wait for videos to show up on Deadspin of Bills fans channeling their collective Mick Foley and putting each other through tables during tailgate parties.

TEXANS over Bears:

Brock Ostweiler makes his Houston debut. Otherwise, this matchup to me is full of meh.

CHIEFS over Chargers:

Hey remember that face Michael Phelps made during the Olympic Games last month?

I thought that looked familiar!! Except Michael Phelps is Michael Phelps and Philip Rivers plays for the Chargers.


Vikings over TITANS:

Just as I was going to make the Vikings my Super Bowl pick from the NFC, Teddy Bridgewater destroyed his knee. Ugh. Enter Sam Bradford, who has now gone over the course of the summer from St. Louis to Los Angeles to Philadelphia and now Minneapolis. One thing to watch for other than how Bradford handles the Viking offense: how Marcus Mariota performs in his sophomore debut with the Titans.


Giants over COWBOYS:

Nine times out of ten this matchup is the NBC Sunday Night Football game. Not so this week (more on that later)! However this will be a fun game to watch and is the national game for FOX (unless you're in parts of the Midwest or Seattle). Dak Prescott, who impressed during the preseason, starts for the injured Tony Romo against what I think will be a rather stingy Giants D. Meanwhile, Eli Manning has both Odell Beckham, Jr. AND Victor Cruz to throw to. This may have the makings of a wild west shootout!


COLTS over Lions:

Another "meh" matchup to me. The Lions, well they're the Lions. Andrew Luck, well he's Andrew Luck. I do expect the Colts to have a much better effort this season than last.


Steelers over WASHINGTON (Monday Night):

Sometime in the future, I may write a post regarding what nickname the Washington National Football League franchise should name themselves after they finally get rid of their current nickname. Meanwhile, remember earlier how I said the Packers would have a de facto home game in Jacksonville? Same here. Plenty of Terrible Towels will be waving in Landover, and the faithful who support the burgundy and gold will race as fast as they can to get to 495. Why is it that people in Maryland drive like there is no tomorrow anyway? Sheesh! They make Florida drivers bastions of traffic obedience, and that's saying something. Just a personal observation from my earlier trip this summer.

Meanwhile, guess who's announcing the early game on Monday night?

Sean O'Mac and Coach Gruden, baby!! (for those who didn't know Sean McDonough is my favorite announcer)

Then there's the late game on Monday night:

Rams over 49ERS:

This is compelling, but not entirely because of the game itself. I'll start with the football aspect of the intrigue. This marks the first regular season game since 1994 for the LOS ANGELES Rams, who when they were last in Southern California played their games not in Los Angeles but in Anaheim. Their opponent, the 49ers, played in San Francisco at that time. Now, they play in Santa Clara. Still, the NoCal vs SoCal rivalry is always lit (as the kids say nowadays), so a fitting welcome back to football in Los Angeles by playing your in-state rival.

Then there's the Colin Kaepernick story which you have already heard about ad nauseam by now. I gave my opinion on it on my Facebook page and I'll repeat it here: do I like what he did by sitting for the anthem? No. Was he wrong for doing so? Not at all. I can understand why he would silently protest the playing of "The Star-Spangled Banner," it's his First Amendment right. But I'm not going to turn into this blog post into a political discussion. Sports and politics together is kind of like oil and water. They don't necessarily mix and when they do, it gets messy. REALLY messy. Ask any taxpayer who's on the hook for publicly financed stadia and arenas. But that's another discussion for another time.

The game itself shouldn't be all too difficult for the Rams, even if Case Keenum is quarterbacking while number one overall pick Jared Goff learns the offense from the sideline. I expect the Todd Gurley show to be in full effect.

As for the Niners, Colin isn't even starting Monday; Blaine Yo-Gabba-Gabbert is. Oh, speaking of lame nicknames given to athletes, guess who's announcing THIS game?

BACK! BACK! BACK! BACK!!!!

Thankfully many of us will be asleep before this game even starts, so we will be spared of our ears bleeding overnight.

How I Think the Season Plays Out:

As far as who I think will advance to the playoffs at the end of the season is of course a crapshoot. There are the usual suspects (Pats, Pack, Steelers, etc.), but who are the sleepers and who are the dark horses? It's like throwing a dart blindfolded to see who's in and who's out. Nonetheless here's how I see it shaking out:

AFC:

East: Patriots

North: Steelers

South: Texans

West: Chiefs

WC1: Bengals

WC2: Raiders

NFC:

East: Giants

North: Packers

South: Panthers

West: Cardinals

WC1: Seahawks

WC2: Buccaneers (hey, I am a Bucs fan!)

As for who reaches Super Bowl LI in Houston come February? Well, would you believe it just happens to be the Sunday Night Football matchup???

CARDINALS over Patriots: 

Arizona gets a true test to start out the new season as the Patriots come to Glendale for the first time since Malcolm Butler made The Pick in Super Bowl XLIX (why didn't Pete Carroll give Marshawn the damn ball?!). But it won't be as much of a test as it could be because well, Tom Brady played with deflated balls and now he's suspended four games. Enter Jimmy Garoppolo, and even he won't have a full compliment of weapons at his disposal. Danny Amendola is out, and Gronk isn't 100%. Don't worry about the Patriots though, they'll be just fine. After this game, they have home games against Miami, Houston and Buffalo before Brady returns. They'll be likely 3-1 and it'll be as if nothing ever happened. Their one loss though? This Cardinals team.

Fun Fact: The Chicago/Card-Pitt/St. Louis/Phoenix/Arizona Cardinals have not posted four straight winning seasons since from 1946-1949, and have NEVER made the playoffs in three straight seasons. With that said, I hope I didn't jinx them since I have them going to Houston along with the Patriots. By that time the Patriots should win the rematch.

Very interesting scenario: the game that ended last season begins this season, and a game that begins this season for both teams will be the one that ends it as well.

My Super Bowl Pick:

Patriots over Cardinals

Enjoy the season everyone!