Christmas In July? Why Not Festivus In June?

 Good morning, everyone. You know, we are now exactly six months away from Christmas, and about the same amount of time away from Festivus. With that being said, here are some airings of grievances that I have halfway through 2026, and I have plenty of them. 

I'll start off with something disturbing in my estimation that I see whenever I'm playing one of those room escape games online, it's an advertisement for TENA, which I guess is a men's health product used to help prevent unwanted urinary leakage. The issue I have is that for the ad, they have some 60-something year old dude (probably AI; I'll have a rant about THAT later) in nothing but his tidy whities talking about said product with a rather suggestive shot of a small fountain at the end. Dude, I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT SH*T, and quite frankly, neither do most men. I know it's Pride Month and all, but the visual for that ad is too much for my liking. Now if it was THIS person doing the sales pitch...

Let's move on to what I've been seeing on television. Most notably FOX 13 in Tampa since that's the only local station my sisters watch. Primary elections are coming up, and one the few political ads I see is for Kevin Steele, who is NOT getting my vote. He checks all the marks for the prototypical gullible FOX viewer, Republican, Trump endorsed, DeSantis supporter. Yuck. And it's OF COURSE it's on Fox. Gosh almighty I hate that network. My gripe is where are the ads for David Jolly (who's running for FL governor) or Charlie Crist (mayor of St. Petersburg)? Does the Florida Democratic Party even aware that television media still exists? Do they even have a budget for TV ads after having their asses handed to them in the last forty-leven election cycles (our last Democratic governor was Buddy McKay, who finished the term of the late Lawton Chiles in 1999)? Or does Fox 13 have their ad rates so high that the Dems a) figure it isn't worth the cost or b) they can't, but you can bet dollars to donuts that Fox will put an ad for Morgan & Morgan or any other ambulance-chasing grifter in the Tampa area.

Speaking of Morgan & Morgan, the grand poobah of ambulance chasers has revealed the name of his "new" political party; the Common Ground Party. Uhhh...okay. Way to use your imagination there, John. From the home office in Rennert, North Carolina, top five rejected names for John Morgan's political party.

1. 5. The Ambulance Chaser Party.
2. 4. The "I want to steal your baseball team and move it to Orlando" Party.
3. 3. The Bourbon Drinking Coalition.
4. 2. The Exotic Dancer Caucus (and their PAC, Porno for Paralegals)

...and the number one rejected name for John Morgan's political party...

1. 1. Grifters R Us.
2. 
   
   
   
   

sorry, Dave.

While I'm covering late night hosts and their gimmicks, another popular one is Jimmy Kimmel's Unnecessary Censorship routine, where his producers will randomly insert a bleep over an otherwise innocuous word. Well, seems like social media lately from Facebook to TikTok have been practicing it to a fault, where even the name of a movie was censored. In a CBS Sports post on Facebook late Thursday night during the Turkey-USA World Cup match, the words "Fight Club" was blurred out. Why? I know that rule no. 1 of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club, but that was ridiculous. What's next? An announcement that I'll have a d*te at O**** G****** (which never happened by the way...thanks for nothing Samantha)? That I'm planning on taking a tr*p to ***th Car*****? You get the idea. Censorship is running amok and I don't like it.

Another gripe I kinda have is the decision of Florida to lift the ban on fireworks for the Fourth of July. Now from what I understand, there are currently burn bans in the greater Tampa Bay region, which means that personal fireworks are indeed technically prohibited. Now how much do you want to bet that some of the counties in greater Tampa Bay (like Hernando) will conveniently lift the burn ban in time for the fourth, because FREEDOM!!! and TRUMP!!! and 250!!! and STUFF!!!! That's the mentality of the copious amount of MAGA lunkheads that live here. If you've ever had the misfortune of hearing any advertisement on the radio for Pyro Junkie in the Tampa Bay area, you know what I'm talking about.

In a related note, known N*zi sympathizer Kanye West had not one but TWO sold out shows not at Benchmark International Arena, but Raymond James Stadium. Why? Because Tampa, I guess. What's really interesting in that whole thing is the concerts were pushed to be cancelled, but the person pushing for them was the least favorable person imaginable; Senator Rick Scott. This is like that scene from "Ace Ventura 2" where Jim Carrey has spears on each thigh and is shouting to heaven above.

That's right, the present-day incarnation of Voldemort tried to get Ye cancelled...but failed.

It didn't help Scott's cause that the Tampa Sports Authority had its hands tied, if they cancelled the shows, then Kanye's promoter would have litigated, and God knows the Tampa Sports Authority loses money because they are pushing for further renovations to Raymond James Stadium, ahead of the proposed ballpark that the Rays have been trying to get built across the street at Hillsborough Community College. Remember when Trump in his first debacle of an administration shoved the leader of Montenegro out of the way for a photo op at a NATO meeting? It's kind of like that. 

That said, the TSA is playing with fire because from what I understand the Raleigh-Durham area would love an MLB team and the Rays' triple-A affiliate is the Durham Bulls, and who knows, if the Rays bolt for the Research Triangle, I may soon follow...

Speaking of Trump, he's the subject of my next grievance. Dude insists that the colossal mess that is the Reflecting Pool on the Washington Mall was created by far-left activists with a cutting knife. So dear leader decides on a whim that he wants to paint the reflecting pool American flag blue with the 250th birthday happening this upcoming week, oversaw by some dude that looks like a TEMU Bond villain from central casting, then has his motorcade DRIVE over the sealant once it's applied to the drained pool, and is now blaming ANTIFA for vandalizing the pool once he realized he done screwed up. A better explanation (which is rather long) can be found on Facebook here. Yeah, I don't think "antifa" really vandalized the pool, much like that date I never had...

I swear he takes zero accountability for things when they don't go his way, and when they don't, he'll bitch and moan until the objects of his rage capitulates. Oh, and we're still at war with a nation we've supposed to have defeated (allegedly) several times over the past month. 

Same, Conan. Same.

My final rant will be what I alluded to earlier in this post, and that's the wonton use of AI that has infiltrated social media. Now I know that AI can be used for good, like if you need to know an answer to a question and you don't feel the need to google it, but some of AI I've seen has been used to created deep-fakes, cheesy advertisements, and bad comedy. One dear follower of mine on the site Muskrat has all but destroyed uses AI to enhance that person's photos; I know what you look like and that's not it. You already know about that TENA ad I mentioned in the beginning, there's other ads for various games on your phone that uses AI, including an arrow removal game that's called "Arrows Out," though recently they've started calling themselves "Point Out," which is an entirely different rant I could go on, but this entry is already long in the tooth as it is.

A final word before I go. I know that June is also Men's Mental Health Month, and my mental health hasn't really been all that great as of late. It took me three whole days just to type this blog post, and I haven't done any flashbacks since May 10. The fact that I had a bit of a breakup may have something to do with it, but was it really a breakup when the rocket never lifted off the launch pad, so to speak? In any event, I'll see my therapist on Thursday and tell her about it.

I really liked that woman, too...oh well. 

Enjoy America 250 y'all. For now I'm off the celebrate my sister's birthday.

Bonyscribe