Hello everyone. You know, I can't really watch the news anymore. All news nowadays is either one of a few things: Right-wing propaganda, left-wing propaganda, crime and Florida Man stories, shameless promos for a network that's a glorified TEMU version of Fox News (NewsNation), plus the weather and sports. And in between what garbage is on the news segments you'll get a commercial for one of three things: an ambulance chaser, someone pharma pimping some miracle pill, or a mindless ad for auto insurance. You've heard of insurance fraud, well why can't we get compensation for having to watch their ads? Then again, you'd have Morgan & Morgan knocking at your front door within minutes. No thank you.
So, here's a very condensed version of the news that I would disseminate. Gas is high, morale is in the toilet, our government is crooked, life sucks, and so do our sports teams. Have a good night. Of course I'm being hyperbolic, but at least you have a general rundown of what's going on in the world without the stupid advertisements. If that isn't enough for you, Miss Information (get it) has got you:
This bubble headed bleach blonde doesn't have a gleam in her eye, Don Henley.
Afterwards, I understand she'll be fighting Candy Owens on Celebrity Death Match (which I think needs to come back). Scratch that, it'll be a tag team match with her against Erika Kirk and Sarah Huckabee. All kidding aside, I think we're all better off turning off the news at this day and time, and just listen to music, and if something major breaks, then cut in. But gosh almighty the news sucks.
BonyScribe
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