Thursday, June 27, 2024

Ohhhh Brother, Here We Go Again (The 2024 Presidential Debate Drinking Game)

 Good morning, everyone. Welcome to a day that is both looked forward to and dreaded at the same time; the date of the first Presidential Debate of 2024. Once again, it's President Joe Biden vs. Donald Trump, and given the age of both candidates, it should be sponsored by Geritol. While some of us will be watching with bated breath, others will just ignore it completely. Then there are those that would rather drink than watch this train wreck take place and that's where I come in. I think the best way to watch this debate is to make it into a drinking game, so grab your favorite bottle of liquor and play along!

Since the debate is being hosted by CNN, if Trump makes a reference to them as "fake news," take a shot.

Since the debate is held in Atlanta, if either candidate brings up the election subversion case in Georgia, take a shot. Take an additional shot if Trump brings up Fani Willis.

If Trump makes a personal insult, regardless of it's to Biden or either of the hosts, take a shot.

If Biden tells Trump to "shut up," take a double shot.

If either candidate kisses up to Benjamin Netanyahu, take a shot.

If Trump mentions anything about the war in Ukraine, take two shots, blyat.

If Stormy Daniels is mentioned, take a shot.

If Hunter Biden is mentioned, take a shot.

If "Dark Brandon" somehow appears, take THREE shots.

If Biden mentions how the economy is improving, take two shots.

If the Border Wall is mentioned, take a shot.

If Trump says "China," take a shot.

If Trump makes a bizarre facial expression, take a shot. Here are some examples:



If Trump breaks out in his gosh-awful dance of his. Drink the whole damned bottle. 


You know what? Maybe just grab a bottle of Everclear to wash that sight out of your system. Either way, you're sure to be blacked out by the end of the night and hopefully you won't remember what transpired later tonight when you wake up on Friday. 














In any event, if you decide to watch this debacle, please be careful. I don't want to hear of anyone suffering from alcohol poisoning from watching it. So, in the words of Edward R. Murrow, good night, and good luck.



BonyScribe

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

The Kitties Did It

 Last time I graced you with my presence on here almost two weeks ago, the Florida Panthers were on the verge of sweeping the Edmonton Oilers to clinch their first Stanley Cup title. Then things went a little squirrelly, then a little sideways. Next thing we knew, Edmonton had rallied from 0-3 down to tie the series and force a winner-take-all game 7 Monday night in Broward County with all the momentum in the world. Fortunately for our feline friends from South Beach, Sergei Bobrovsky regained his stellar form and the Cats won Game 7 and their first Stanley Cup title. 

The title gives the Miami/Fort Lauderdale region the grand slam of professional sports, meaning that their teams have won titles in the MLB, NBA, NFL, and now NHL, an accomplishment last achieved by Dallas/Fort Worth region last year when the Texas Rangers won their first World Series. If only the Dolphins can get their act together and win one before my time on earth passes; their last title was just before I was born, in January of 1974. 

But, anyway, congratulations Cats, and thank you for cementing Florida as the new State of Hockey. Oh, by the way, if you're reading this on Tuesday, google "Panthers Stanley Cup" for a nice little surprise.


 









Congrats Kitties, and in the words of the late Jim Mandich, "ALLLRIGHHT MIAMIIIII!!!"


BonyScribe

Friday, June 14, 2024

Flashback: June 15, 1996

 Hello again. It's been a few weeks since I did a flashback Top 40 blog post (about three weeks ago to be exact). Usually, I roll a 20-sided die to determine which year I choose for this blog, however with the Florida Panthers, the team I called the LOLCats for the longest time, on the precipice of their maiden Stanley Cup titleprecipice of their maiden Stanley Cup title, I thought I would turn back the clocks to 1996, the year they first reached the Final (and only their third year of existence). Now unfortunately for them, they would get swept by Colorado (who had just poached the team from Quebec City), and it wouldn't be until last season that they won a Stanley Cup Final game, but the rat throwing craze hit fever pitch in South Florida. So, grab your rats and get ready to toss them, as we go over the top 40 songs (provided by Billboard's Hot 100 Airplay chart) for this week in 1996.








40. Standing Outside A Broken Telephone Booth With Money In My Hand by Primitive Radio Gods. Man, that was a long title. Anyway, this song got, despite having heavy airplay over the summer of that year, didn't reach the Hot 100 singles chart. Remember, I'm going off airplay here. 1996 was weird, man.

39. Your Loving Arms by Billie Ray Martin. Not to be confused with country superstar Billy Ray Cyrus or late baseball manager and New York Yankees legend Billy Martin. To me this song sounded somewhat familiar to AC/DC's 1980 classic "You Shook Me All Night Long."

38. Jealousy by Natalie Merchant

37. Children by Robert Miles. It was a later song by Miles that I enjoyed more, "One and One." Sadly, Miles passed away from cancer in May of 2017. F*** cancer.

36. Big Me by The Foo Fighters. This was their first crossover hit from their self-titled debut album. I didn't know at the time that frontman Dave Grohl formed the band (that's what being in The Navy will do to you; there are some things that you lose awareness of). The video for it was a spoof of those Mentos commercials that aired in the 90s.

35. Salvation by The Cranberries

34. Machinehead by Bush. Probably my favorite Bush song. I thought it was from the movie "Swimfan," but it actually came from "Fear." I knew it was from a movie, but it was that I didn't see.

33. Flood by Jars Of Clay

32. Mother Mother by Tracy Bonham. Add this song to Madonna's "Oh Father" in 1989, The Nixon's "Sister" from later in 1996, Avicii's "Hey Brother" from 2014 (has it really been ten years already?), and either the aforementioned "Children" or Guns N' Roses' "Sweet Child Of Mine" and you pretty much have a family tree playlist. Don't know if songs from Sister Sledge ("We Are Family") or Sly & The Family Stone ("Family Affair") can be included, maybe if you're a boomer it could.

31. 1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin' New) by Coolio. As I recall, the pop radio station in Richmond, VA (I lived in Newport News at the time) played the unedited version of the song. Apparently, the n-word was acceptable on the radio up there, and to that I say...









30. Counting Blue Cars by Dishwalla. The first song, or anything for that matter, that I remember of the portrayal of God as a female. 

29. You're Makin' Me High by Toni Braxton. Excuse me while I stare at the following picture for a bit...










28. Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix) by Los Del Rio. I'm sorry if I triggered certain memories here. One of these days, I'm going to come up with a "Jukebox From Hell" and this song will be included in it.

27. The World I Know by Collective Soul. A favorite of mine from back then.

26. 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins. 1979 was a pretty decent year, what little I remember of it.

25. Champagne Supernova by Oasis. Loved loved loved this song. 

24. The Earth, The Sun, The Rain by Color Me Badd. I avoided CMB like the plague back in the 90s, kinda like I avoid Bruno Mars present-day.

23. Be My Lover by La Bouche. Another mind-numbing banger from the mid-90's, where it seemed like songs like this were a dime or dozen. By the way, the young woman that worked at the laundromat down the road from where I was staying in Newport News sort of resembled lead singer (now deceased) Melanie Thornton.

22. Closer To Free by The Bodeans. True story, just before I left the Navy, I was invited to see a concert featuring the Bodeans by a red-head. I didn't take her up on the offer though because she happened to be MARRIED to a guy on the ship I was stationed aboard that had left for the Mediterranean (I stayed behind because my EOS date was like a month afterwards.

21. Fastlove by George Michael. I had to look up exactly when Michael had that controversial bathroom encounter that kind of derailed his career. It was 1998, I thought it was sooner.

20. Sweet Dreams by La Bouche

19. Sittin' Up In My Room by Brandy. Fun fact: I never watched an episode of "Moesha."

18. Name by Goo Goo Dolls. This song brings up another thing about 90s music that I didn't like; songs stayed in the top 20 for a long, long, long time. This particular song was on its 44th(!) week on the airplay chart. Of course nowadays, some songs have lasted an entire year in the Hot 100 (I think "Levatating" by Dua Lipa comes to mind).

17. Everything Falls Apart by Dog's Eye View. The beginning of this song really spoke about how my outlook on life was back in 1996; "Don't look now, things just got worse..." You know Einstein's Theory of Relativity? Well, I joked that I had Tyn-stein's Theory of Negativity. Too bad I was an angry cynical young punk back then. Maybe if I had a lot more gratitude back then, my life may have played out different...or not. But definitely one of the two.

16. You're The One by SWV. Actually, she wasn't the one after all.

15. Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel. She was rather cute when she first started out, her and her snaggle tooth.

14. Insensitive by Jann Arden. I know of a few persons that are in fact insensitive, couple of them have red hair, too.

13. Tha Crossroads by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. This was actually the number one song on the Hot 100 for this particular week, a wonderful tribute to the late Easy E.

12. Theme From "Mission: Impossible" by Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen. Otherwise known as the OTHER two members of U2 (besides Bono and Edge). I saw this movie while it was out in the theater, and I believe it is the ONLY Tom Cruise flick I've seen on the big screen. I'm not a big Tom Cruise fan.

11. Follow You Down by The Gin Blossoms. No comment.

10. Wonder by Natalie Merchant. When you talk about the ladies of 90s music, Natalie is just, kinda there. Sure, she was solid at what she did, but there was no real hype about her, I think she was more geared to VH-1 than MTV whereas Mariah, Alanis, Janet and Madonna got most of the run on that network.

  9. Old Man & Me by Hootie & The Blowfish. Debut single off their follow up album to Cracked Rearview, Fairweather Johnson. You know, come to think of it, this was around the era of those Big Johnson T-shirts that some guys used to wear, and if you combine it with the term "fairweather friend," and...

Shut up, Bonyscribe.

  8. You Learn by Alanis Morissette. After all this time, I finally figured out how to correctly spell Alanis's last name. I guess I did learn after all!

  7. Missing by Everything But The Girl. The name of the band fits my life to a T so far. I'm still hoping to change that part.

  6. Nobody Knows by Tony Rich Project. One of several one-hit wonders that permeated the decade of the 90s.

  5. Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman. This song sort of threw me off for the longest time. It started out like a lazy river but finished like a fast car (pardon the pun), and I have always had difficulty whenever I heard this song in pinpointing where the pace of the song subtly changed.

  4. Ironic by Alanis Morissette. None of the scenarios in this song are actually ironic. That's something you can't do on television, let alone songwriting (see what I did there?). 

  3. Killing Me Softly by The Fugees. The video to this song exploits one of my biggest pet peeves; talking aloud in a movie theater. That and making a mess of the theater. Don't they have any consideration for the poor teenager who has to clean up thier mess. Wait a minute, what if said teenager was a classmate of the group in the movie theater and they just wanted to prank that person? Doesn't make it right but still...








  2. Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey

and the number one (most played) song this week according to Billboard Magazine this week in 1996 was...

  1. Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion. From the movie "Up Close and Personal" with Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Redford.


So that puts a wrap to this week's flashback. On Saturday, the LOLCats Panthers will try to put a wrap to the 2023-24 NHL season. Now to dodge some raindrops for the rest of the weekend. Stay safe, everyone.


Bonyscribe

Saturday, June 1, 2024

I Missed My Calling In Life

 Hello, and Happy Hurricane Season. Also, Happy Pride month for those who celebrate, now leave me alone. Doing some thinking over the past week, and I think I missed my calling in life. When I was a little bitty Bony Scribe living in Orlando, my father had all sorts of CB radio equipment in the garage. I remember hollering across a sinkhole/slash retention pond in our backyard, trying to emulate at my young and naive age the host of televangelists my mother would watch on television on Sunday mornings. But, as I grew older, my passions evolved towards sports and sports broadcasting, although I was anything BUT athletic growing up. In my teenage years, when I was living in small town North Carolina my focus turned to radio, but like I've said many times on this blog, it was somewhat Podunkville; the nearest major metro area was some 70/75 miles away (Raleigh/Durham) in a period of time in which North Carolina still had much of a Mayberry feel to it. Nowadays, Raleigh is a top-30 market. But did my parents do anything to help me with that? No. They were from the "greatest generation" and their philosophy on life was that I should continue my father's legacy, and that was to become an electrical engineer. 

So, instead of trying to become a broadcaster, I joined the Navy in the nuclear power program; I found out that I wasn't that good at it, but I survived, then after that I was going to attend USF, but surprise, I had a baby on the way back in Virginia. So, instead of going to school, I joined the Postal Service. It wasn't until 2010 that I tried to pursue that broadcasting dream of mine, and lo and behold, I was somewhat good at it, but again, life got in the way and that dram went away. I always thought that there was a small possibility I eventually re-pursue that dream, then I had a stroke in 2017. That dream was all but dead then. I guess I could have done a broadcast engineer or someone behind the scenes, but I had delusions of grandeur, I guess. Also, I think I would not have liked broadcasting in the Tampa Bay area because there are too many politics involved in this market; just my opinion but I don't think a neutral/left-leaning ideology would work in this market; I would be better off in Miami or possibly Orlando if I stayed in Florida. Maybe I could fit in in a larger market, like Philly or NYC. I don't know.

What I'm saying is I think I missed my calling in life I think. But you know what some say, never say never...




Bony Scribe