Hi there. Usually, I don't try to wax poetic on here about how I feel, but sitting with the sisters tonight as well as seeing a post last night on Facebook got me thinking. At 51, what is my current purpose in life, and what do I really want going forward?
Well, one thing goes to what has been the majority of these blog posts the last few years, flashbacks to various top 40 music charts from days of yore, usually from 1980 to 2000. Yeah, I'm sure that there is a niche audience for those things, but is it really making an impact, and am I getting enough eyeballs to this page? Besides, this year I think I have one such entry, and we're three months into 2025. I'm no longer on twitter (I still refuse to call it X), so I've lost a good chunk of the 2,000 followers or so that I had there. Thanks, Squealon.
Speaking of the Muskrat, every once in a while, I'll dabble or attempt to dabble into politics on this page. But seriously, have you even looked at the current political state of our nation right now? To say it's a mess would be a colossal understatement. Besides, everything about this "administration" has been just exhausting to follow; I no longer watch the news because it's either kissing Trump's ass or displaying faux outrage over what's going on with the President. Even the local Fox affiliate here in Tampa is falling into that trap; it seems like every third story has something to do with the Trump. It's not "Trump Derangement Syndrome," it's that I'm sick and bleeping tired of talking and listening about him all the damn time. Oh, and don't get me started on those all too ubiquitous Morgan & Morgan ads.
Could I try to monetize on what I do? Of course. However, there are certain guidelines that I would have to follow, and that takes away freedom of what exactly I can or cannot say here. I mean I have to be careful of what I say on this blog anyway (I don't want a knock on my door from Sheriff Nienhuis or anyone further up the law enforcement chain of command), but in order to get this blog monetized, there's a strict line I have to tow. I've had to do that for too long in my life, so suffice to say that's no longer my style. Besides, I don't have enough hits on this page to warrant getting monetized anyway. That said, please read this blog.
Now I want to talk about my future going forward. Am I happy where I am in life right now? Actually, yes. Am I satisfied? Hell no. Even going into the fourth quarter of my life, there are still many things that I want to achieve. Unfortunately, I currently lack to proper tools to properly achieve those. My late sister kinda clipped my wings when she, not I, determined that I could not drive after my stroke, which is now eight years ago. My driver's license ultimately expiring. Am I able to get around? Yes, albeit with some assistance (getting rides to the bus stop), but I'm very limited as to when I can go outside the house (I have to be in by dark, because my sisters are worrywarts), and I only see a fraction of what I make off SSDI/disability because most of it is going to bills and such. My relationship status is complicated; I'm in love with someone who right now is technically married. I'll leave it at that. I would love to create a future for her and her kids, but to do that, I would have to potentially sacrifice my disability status and ultimately the life structure of me and my sisters, who are both 65+. That's something I definitely have to keep in mind throughout.
I've only faced something similar to this once before fifteen years ago, and last time it happened things did not work out. My life was nearly destroyed as a result, so I have to tread carefully. But in the bottom of my heart, I know that she is very much different than the one fifteen years ago, so I just have to trust the process and be patient, which is something pre-stroke me had all sorts of trouble with.
Trust the process. It will all work out in the end.
So, in the meantime, I guess I will continue what I'm doing for now, while keeping my eyes peeled as to what opportunities come my way. I have a lot to offer, I just need the right ones to listen.
And that is the state of the Scribe for spring 2025.
BonyScribe